Don't Put Up With It

Despite the odd sunny periods in the last couple of weeks, the grey weather has set in with a vengeance with very cold temperatures, persistent rain and snow forecast for next week. I was going to spend a couple of days in the garden this weekend just tidying up really and preparing for the summer to come if it ever is going to arrive. But, as that is out of the question, some Internet work and reading is the order of the the day.

I've been to a spirit, body and mind fair today with good friends Linda and Helen just to be with good friends and to enjoy a pleasant atmosphere at the event held at a lovely local hotel. I hadn't intended to go and in fact I didn't even know the event was on. I happened to bump into another friend, a lovely lady, and we sat down for a quick chat while she was waiting for a couple of members of her family to arrive. 

I was upset and concerned that she told me that she was being bullied at her place of work. She has worked at this place for many years (I can't give you any details that may identify her) and a new manager came in and made what appears to be spurious allegations and has told some lies to put my friend under pressure. This has never happened to her before and has upset her a great deal. Undoubtedly she has been treated differently than other members of the organisation. 

I gave her what little advice I could to keep her spirits up - she is seeing her union about it. Another person I know (again I can't give details for fear it might identify the person) is being bullied, this time from someone they are responsible for - upward bullying. Again the effects are devastating. 

I guess our vision of the bully is the archetypal thug who threatens to punch kids if they don't hand over their pocket money or perhaps the manager who piles all the work on someone who will never be able to complete it and then makes their life hell for not doing so. These signs are easy to spot.  In my experience however, bullying can be much more subtle than that and that makes it worse. There could be just the use of the odd word here and there, a whispering to colleagues and looking in your direction, bullying because of your gender or sexual orientation, and sadly these days, bullying using social networking. It could extend to being beaten or threatened with physical harm, or down to being given the silent treatment.

Bullying is a nasty, insidious and destructive behaviour but the bullies have no idea how it is as destructive to them as well as their victims. People die through bullying and victims can develop serious mental and physical illness - that's how serious it could be. I don't have many solutions because I am just a layman, but  if you are being bullied, please don't keep quiet about it - speak to someone about it. 

It's easy of course if you are in a union or have a representative organisation to help you, but most haven't. Have you got a friend or a family member you can trust? 

You don't have to put up with it and don't think you have to build up to summon up courage or be a strong person to do it, you don't. Just say to a person you choose - "I'm being bullied, I don't know what to do." By hook or by crook, because you've take this first step, you will find yourself on the road to a solution and to a better quality of life. No-one is saying it is necessarily easy, but at least you can make a start.

If you haven't got access to any of these resources, you can try Bullying UK Don't forget there will be help on-line in your country too outside of the UK.

Finally, if you have witnessed bullying, you might have been a bystander at work or at school and you decided to do nothing - my message to you is: bullys need you, you are the friend of the bully. If you weren't comfortable dealing with it or daren't intervene for fear of a backlash, you also need to speak to someone about it to find out what you can do and to get protection for yourself if necessary. Report it anonymously if that's what you feel is appropriate but please, please don't stand back and let it happen.

Well on that cheery note, I bid you farewell and hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend, whatever you are doing.

Chat soon

ta-ra

Bank Holiday Blues

Happy Easter. It's Bank Holiday weekend in the UK and the start of a short holiday for me. The last couple of weeks has been really busy both at home and at work and rather tiring hence no blog. I've done another Angel stall with my business partner Linda; and her and I have given free Reiki treatments on behalf of Hull and East Riding Breast Friends (HER Breast Friends) a group dedicated to supporting women who have or have had breast cancer. So weekends have become a bit of a premium. My son is home from University and it's a pleasure to have him back and today, we sat and painted with oil paints together which was really nice and relaxing. 

Now I'm sure you've noticed if you are in the UK that the weather has returned to what can only be described as wintry again. I was in Leeds on business on Wednesday. I set off from Hull in driving rain and sleet and the spray on the roads was terrible. There was gale force winds during the night, several trees had been blown down near us and in the north of England, 50,000 homes were without electricity due to power lines being brought down. Bear in mind this is the first substantial rain for several weeks, there was much in the way of standing water on the roads.

I had driven about 35 miles when all of a sudden, the verges and the hedges began to take on a white hue and as I reached the A1, there was snow as far as the eye could see. Just another 30 miles up the road, roads were blocked because of snow. It's April for goodness sake! Still, I made nice patterns in the car park.

Although winter is only recently demised, we need the rain and the water because in Yorkshire there is an official drought order in place. They haven't banned hosepipes yet, but it's only a matter of time I guess. Much of the south east of England have drought orders in place and they have hosepipe bans already and we're just into spring.

We're losing our electricity for a day next week whilst the local power company connect some new houses across the road. Time to spend a day in the garden, but the long term forecast doesn't look very inspiring. I do hope this late snow and ice didn't damage any crops or buds on the bushes and trees. I do recall having snow on Easter Friday when I was about 16 and that was in April too so it's not unheard of.

Forgive the language, but here's a little moral story for the festive season:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy;
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend;
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Have a great weekend of Easter bunny frolics, and if you don't believe in the Easter celebrations because you think it's all Pagan stuff, well just enjoy the weekend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Be Prepared

A picture from the inside of my car window this morning.

If you hail (excuse the pun) from outside the UK, you might notice that us Brits love to talk about the weather. I'm not sure why and I know that when extremes of weather hit, it doesn't matter where in the world you come from, it's a real talking point. Perhaps as a nation of shop-keepers (a disparaging remark - according to the French) and farmers (a proud statement - according to me) the weather is so important. There are a couple of blogging friends who live and work on farms and the weather I guess is crucial to planning, cost and ultimate success and perhaps survival as a business.

We've had our second spell of snowy weather in the last few days and although a lot of the snow has gone, huge blankets of snow still adorn open spaces but the weather is now so cold. Side roads and footpaths remain firmly frozen and covered in packed ice. Friends are blogging and Facebooking that they are experiencing minus 10 and minus 12 degrees Celsius last night as the skies cleared. My car clock showed minus 5 degrees at 10 o'clock this morning.

The weather of course affects our every day life and whether you are in 30 degrees of sun or minus 30 degrees of frost, you adapt everything accordingly. We dress accordingly, we heat or cool our homes accordingly, we make travel plans accordingly and many aspects of our behaviour change when we have an extreme of weather that is unexpected.  

 For example, just taking a typical day this week:

• I get up half an hour earlier to make sure I have time to clean the car of frost and ice and take extra time for my journey to work to get me there safely.
• I often wait until I get to work to have breakfast, but this time I made and ate porridge before I left the house.
• I look up the weather forecast on the Internet before I leave.
• The house heating is adjusted up to make sure there are no problems. The scarf and hat and gloves are dug out of the cupboard and a sturdier pair of shoes are used. Jumpers are worn throughout the day even at work in the office. 
• A hot meal at lunch and tea for energy and warmth (which I think is probably a myth anyway).
• Close the curtains early and close internal doors to maintain warmth.
• Extra sheet on the bed, central heating on for an extra couple of hours a day.

Much of this costs more and takes more time and with over one million homes in fuel poverty this year in the UK (low income, high fuel price, poor energy efficiency and low occupancy), my thoughts are very much with those who are struggling to cope with the weather.

So, sorry to rattle on about the weather but keep warm - or cool depending on where you live and ALWAYS be prepared.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.