Is Anyone Out There?

My youngest is back at university so a late trip to Liverpool last night saw him deposited back at flat. He took with him enough provisions for an army and we have been teaching him to cook over the Christmas holidays so there was an additional trip to ASDA in Liverpool before our return. His Nan also baked him a chocolate cake to take with him - lucky lad - that won't last long!

The day has been a busy one domestically, while my wife has been doing the ironing, I've tidied the downstairs of the house, washed the car (inside and out), been shopping, cleaned the kitchen, swept the drive of leaves and I'm cooking the tea shortly. I'm knackered - how do women do this all the time, run the family and hold down a job - can I go on a course?

Good customer service is a fundamental part of a successful business. You don't need to be in business to realise that. My mobile phone, you may remember was given a swimming lesson a couple of weeks ago. My fault - completely. The phone went back to the shop and they sent it away through the insurance cover and gave me a courtesy phone. When I got a new phone back last Saturday (my old one was irreparable) the SIM card kept coming back as 'inactive.' A friendly helpful man on the end of the helpline sent me a new SIM card. That didn't work either. I tried the SIM in an old phone and it worked. Therefore the new replacement phone must be faulty.

This morning we took my phone back to the shop where a young male assistant who had clearly seen his arse that morning dealt with us begrudgingly and with no interpersonal communications ability at all. As an aside after he took my phone off me asked as an afterthought if we required a courtesy phone. We said we did. He gave me an all singing all dancing touch phone which is miles ahead of my fairly simplistic phone (it makes calls and texts using a keypad - old fashioned I know). He made no attempt to show us how it worked, 'look it up on the Internet' he said. When asked if he could transfer my contacts, he said he couldn't - did he mean it wasn't possible or didn't he have the skills?

The shop was Vodafone in King Edward Street in Hull. I've never had a problem with Vodafone before. Never in all the many years I've had a Vodafone provided mobile, either connectivity or service. This miserable rude little twat does nothing to inspire confidence.

I am running a paranormal investigation tonight at a building in Hull which stands upon a site which goes back to an original building in 1694. I'll let you know how it goes.

Despite that lateness of the hour when we returned last night, my middle lad was in garden looking at the moon through our new telescope. What an extraordinary site when you can see the craters clearly and the shadows they create, it gives me a shiver. I did try to take a photograph through the lens but without success. I need to practise.

Here's a handful of aliens jokes:

Did you hear about the man who was captured by alien teddy-bears?
He had a close encounter of the furred kind.

What do you get if you cross a Martian with a golf score?
A little green bogey (yuk!)

What do you call a spaceship with a fault air-conditioning unit?
A frying saucer.

(I like this one) What do you call an overweight ET?
An Extra Cholesterol.

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Welcome to Planet Earth

Repeat after me: "I will not turn this blog into a weather forecast."

Welcome today to a new follower, Jarmara Falconer. This 'plum-coloured hair woman' describes herself as follows:

"I'm a nightwriter and I'm haunted by the power of the written word. If like me, you are on a journey to another time and place, then come with me. I shall enjoy your company for the journey is too long to be alone."

Her blog's great and very entertaining and for someone who has a few thousand words of his first novel hiding on the hard drive somewhere, it will be good to follow her progress in writing and publishing hers. You are very welcome madam.

I woke this morning to an inch of snow on the ground and flakes the size of flying saucers falling gently to earth. Now, not that I've ever seen a flying saucer you understand, but any alien with any self respect would always choose sunnier climes to make 'first contact.'

Imagine the scene, snowy Yorkshire, 9 am Sunday morning:

"Hello, I'm Zush from the planet Toofarawaytosee,"

"Now then lad, it's a bit parky out here what wi' snow an all, does tha' fancy a cuppa?"

"Erm... I come bearing gifts and extraordinary science from a far galaxy."

"Aye, 'appen, but it's brass monkey weather and I need to get me tootsies in front of yon fire."

"I've travelled for 379,000 light years through intergalactic wars and corrosive nebulae, negotiated with species too fantastic to describe to bring you messages of hope for the future of mankind."

"Well you'll be ready for for some grub then lad, park the old UFO over there, don't block her drive across the road though, she gets a bit tetchy, don't worry about the dog, she only bites those she doesn't like. You look a bit blue, are yer cold or is that yer normal colour? Don't slip on the snow, I can't afford for you to sue me, ha ha! Bugger me, it's cold."

I was going to do some gardening today but it's a morning in front of the fire doing a bit of reading. It's the local DIY store this afternoon, weather permitting to get some John Innes compost for the outside tubs to replace the general purpose stuff that neither retains moisture or goodness.

Enjoy the last day of the weekend!

Chat soon

Ta-ra.