Snoring? Boring....

Like 99% of all human beings, I snore. I know I snore, I wake my self up with my snoring. Get to my age and add a couple of pounds to my fighting weight (did I say pounds?) and snoring becomes easier - I don't even have to practise (or is it practice?) I am frequently reminded by my other half that it took her ages to get to sleep because I was making such a racket. Very interesting dear but I can't do a lot about it. I have tried those nose clips that footballers used to wear to increase their oxygen intake but they don't work apparently. I have tried sleeping on my back, left side, right side, upside down in the cupboard and nothing works. I think it deflates her for me to acknowledge that I snore - here's a tip guys, admit it all, take a bollocking and move on. If anyone has tips for decreasing the decibels, answers on the comments please.

We are lucky that when I had a cold recently and my snoring, she said, was bad, while my lad is at university, she slept in his bed for a fortnight - bliss - two weeks of not having the blankets pinched or me listening to her snoring!

When I tell her she snores she denies it and fights back like two politicians over the dispatch box with an accusation that it does matter and had I ever heard myself snore like a passing train? No dear I am asleep, and so it goes on.

The snow has returned today with a vengeance and this time it's laid heavy with about 4 inches - very picturesque! I have discovered that a massive benefit of the bad weather is that the satellite can't receive a picture - hooray! So here we are, she's knitting and I am eating crisps and actually talking with a Rod Stewart double CD The Complete Great American Songbook playing softly in the background. I asked her if she wanted a cup of tea and as a joke I came back into the room with an empty cup and pretended to trip and pour it over her. She is not amused and as a consequence she is not talking to me! Hurry back Sky!

Looking forward to the weekend but I must wash the car, under the snow it is encrusted with road salt. But then the minute I take it on the road, it gets covered again! More time for me to sit and watch a bit of sport - if there's any on because of the snow or flooding. I can't take the opportunity to talk to her again at leisure during a few quiet moments this weekend, she's working - oh well.

No spelling mistakes today!

Chat soon

Ta-ra