I was reminded today of the late Tommy Cooper by a friend, Ian Mac who sent me some classic Cooper jokes - simple, clever and funny. I still have some Cooper videos and a couple of DVDs which I watch every now and then and some of the best bits are shown on G.O.L.D. on Sky TV occasionally.
Welshman Thomas Frederick Cooper was a complex individual when you read the story of his life and there was much anxiety, sadness, drinking and infidelity. He died on stage at the end of his act way back in 1984 at Her Majesty's Theatre in London during a live broadcast of a London Weekend Television show. I never saw it then and I can't bring myself to watch it even now which can be found on YouTube. I just want to remember this remarkable man at the height of his comedic power, making people laugh with his deliberately disastrous magic, his slapstick and one-liner jokes.
I saw him on stage once at the Bridlington Spa Theatre at some stage in the late seventies. He was a presence and a half and just made people laugh as he approached the microphone and looked around without saying anything at all.
Here are some of the classics; enjoy:
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.
I went to a seafood disco last week, and pulled a muscle.
'Doctor, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual...'
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places.' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore.'
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy.'
I wonder what on earth possessed the Nottingham Royal Concert Hall management to call off the Ken Dodd show after just a few people had said that Ken was no longer funny enough for 2009. I know he may be getting on, but there's no doubt he provides excellent value for money often performing until the early hours of the morning.
I am fortunate enough to have seen Ken Dodd twice, once at the Futurist Theatre in Scarborough 25 years ago and again about 10 years ago at the Bridlington Spa Theatre and I have to say he was damn funny both times and his act had changed substantially over the years. If you've ever seen 'An Audience with Ken Dodd' from the ITV production, that about sums up this great man's career: well respected, funny and topical. The last time I saw him at Bridlington, my three children, all in their teens fell asleep and we carried them out of the theatre about midnight and Ken had by no means finished.
Les Dawson was another favourite and again I saw him in Bridlington on his comedy stage show and at the Hull New Theatre in a Ray Clooney farce, 'Run for your Wife' in which he showed how good he was at stage acting. He sadly died soon after.
I only saw Tommy Cooper once, again at Bridlington Spa. Even before the big man started to speak, just standing at the microphone gave the audience hysterics. I always remember after the interval, there was just a grand piano on the stage. He appeared in tuxedo and began to play 'Autumn Leaves.' An odd leaf fell from the ceiling and fluttered down onto the piano as he was playing. Then another leaf. And a few more; then, quite a few leaves were falling around him and finally a torrent of leaves falling, covering the piano and to cap it all, hessian sacks with 'Leaves' written on the sacking were thrown from the ceiling and the whole house collapsed in painful laughter as he looked so serious and surprised as he peeped out from the pile of leaves. Good stuff; simple, perhaps adolescent - but fun.
All three men were of their time and they were unforgettable and we have to look for new talent and there doesn't seem too much around to compare. There are a few good stand ups performing but Cooper, Dawson and Dodd were unique in their approach - well known themes, tried and tested for the audience of the time. Perhaps modern younger audiences would not find them so funny these days because those classic comedians challenged the values of their day and we have moved on - sadly.
There were others: I saw Morecambe and Wise at the long gone ABC Theatre in Hull and Bob Monkhouse at the now defunct Westfield Country Club in Cottingham. I am privileged to have seen all those I have mentioned.
"I wouldn't say my mother-in-law was a big woman, but she went to the cinema the other night in a white dress and they showed the picture on her back." Les Dawson
I was reminded today of the late Tommy Cooper by a friend, Ian Mac who sent me some classic Cooper jokes - simple, clever and funny. I still have some Cooper videos and a couple of DVDs which I watch every now and then and some of the best bits are shown on G.O.L.D. on Sky TV occasionally.
