Just Being There

P & O Ferries The Pride of Hull having just left King George Dock passing Paull sailing to Rotterdam on the evening tide

 Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. 

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. 

Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus

Two posts in two days - nearly a record.

Today is a special day. For a number of reasons.  Today is the birthday of such celebrated people such as actor Zachary Quinto, comedian Jon Culshaw, Australian cricketers the Waugh brothers and composer Marvin Hamlisch to name but a few (and there are some infamous ones too!)

Paull foreshore, a centuries old quayside, now long defunct, with a view across the Humber looking eastward and toward the open North Sea

On this day in 1953, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth ll of Great Britain was crowned. On this day Pope John Paul ll was the first Pope to visit a communist country, his home land Poland in 1979 and in 1966 on this day, the American Surveyor 1 was the first craft to soft land on another world (the moon).

Today is my birthday.

An old rusty capstan where ships of old would be tied up

My wife doesn't celebrate birthdays and doesn't recognise it or acknowledge it. That's okay, that's her choice. I have however beautiful friends and relatives who do. I have had a wonderful day visiting dear friends Barry Chessman and Shirley Ann Chessman with my best friend Linda Lee in the lovely little seaside town of Hornsea on the East Coast of Yorkshire and wonderful to see them very much at home in their new place.
 
I have had a lovely meal with friends in a local hostelry followed by a quick jaunt in the fresh air at a tiny but significant village on the north bank of the Humber called Paull. I was even bought a birthday cake which was lovely and thoughtful.

Do you know what - the sun shone all day!

Friends are such an important part of my life and wish I had made more in my earlier years. Today, I have much to be thankful for and much to look forward to and my friends are part of that journey. 

Have a great week ahead at work or at leisure and don't forget - smile at someone unexpectedly every day and spread some happiness around the place - you might make a friend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Make a Friend Happy Today!

A slightly angry Humber

I was visiting a local large DIY store on the outskirts of the city today which has a grand view of the River Humber. As I pulled up, the wind was rattling along the river and white horses rolled on the top of the waves which is not a particularly common sight in the Humber on such a bright sunny day.

Part of the Fish Trail

Last week, a friend and I went into the city for a lunch meeting and I noticed some fish brick sets in the footpath  and I was reminded that there is a Fish Trail in the city of Hull for visitors and local alike to follow. Different fish on the pavements allow the walker to meander round the old town using the fish as a guide to see some of the sights. There is an audio guide available and it takes around 60 minutes without stops for tea and shopping! Tours are available starting at the Tourist Information Centre. To book a tour, call 01482 300 300. Anyway, that's enough free advertising for the Hull City Council - they don't do any for me!

I just wanted to say a few words about friendship today without being sentimental or patronising. If you have a partner who is a good friend as well as a partner, then well done, cherish what you have. If not, friends are or should be an important part of your life creating balance and opportunities. I have only realised that in the last couple of years what true friendship means and for me, this has created balance, a different viewpoint, an ability to be my true self and to open my heart to feelings hitherto hidden and rarely touched.

Of course that comes with a large element of trust without which that friendship would probably not work and sometimes, looking around me at different people's lives, it clearly doesn't. People are let down, consciously or by accident, by thoughts, words or deeds which hurt or which are inconsiderately expressed. We don't mean to but it happens. There can be nothing worse than having a trust betrayed. Sometimes it can be mended, sometimes not. 

Either way, I am privileged to have good friends and an exceptional friend. I know that it isn't all plain sailing particularly if, as a friend, you start to play a large part in someones life, but the pathway to being a better person through friendship is important. To be caring, considerate, supportive, loving, understanding and having the skills to listen, counsel, advise a friend for the greater good for everything and everyone concerned is a worthy goal.

If all the world felt that way about a neighbour, relative, friend, people in the community as a whole, wouldn't it be a better place?   

The weekend is upon us, and for the UK, the forecast is not bad and I will be gardening, composting some bedding plants, sweeping leaves off the grass and cutting the grass if its dry enough (raising the blades somewhat because it isn't growing too much having had a couple of frosts already). I will also be working with my brother in law compiling a photo-book from the recent Diamond Wedding celebration of his mum and dad. 

Finally on this busy weekend, I am seeing an old friend for coffee to have a natter as we haven't seen each other for a while and meeting another friend to do some mediumship exercises with guides, friends and relatives from the other world.

Whatever you are doing - enjoy it.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

A Friend in Need...

Isn't it amazing, you take a week off with cold damp weather and feel diabolical with a heavy cold and today, the first day back at work, it's 17 degrees, not a cloud in the sky and I feel on top of the world! I've taken my lad back to University in Nottingham tonight and got back around 10.30 pm and tomorrow I'm driving off to the depths of sunny Lancashire, to Preston on the other side of the Penines on business for a meeting to start at 10.00 am. It's a good job I love driving, something I've been used to and find it quite relaxing.

"People say I wasted my money. I say 90 percent went on women, fast cars and booze. The rest I wasted."
George Best, Footballer.

I have had a long chat with a very good friend today on the phone. Earlier in the day she hinted she wasn't feeling too grand and I texted her later and told her I was thinking about her, hoped that she was okay and that she should take care. She did the right thing and rang and we had a long conversation of mainly me listening and passing the odd opinion now and then because she likes to hear what others think. It is clear that she has had some knocks in her life and they have started to affect her more recently than ever before.

There's a lot of slushy guff around the Internet today particularly about friendship and some of it is too sugary to be palatable sometimes, but either way, there is a fundamental truth in the fact that friendships are hugely important whether we have friends or not.

I hope that I was a good listener for her and that she got out what she wanted to say. Even though she felt her confidence was being dented, something she has worked so hard to maintain in her adult life, she has had the courage to recognise that it was being detrimental to her health and general well being at home and at work but most importantly, she is doing something about it. She is going to see a couple of people to discuss how she is feeling about things and how the situation is affecting her.

This is a mentally strong woman, intelligent and motivated. I mention this to illustrate that a dent in confidence can happen to anyone, (it's happened to me in the past.) It's hard to admit that something is affecting you, curbing your natural abilities, making you feel potentially ill. It only takes a phone call to a friend, a chat over coffee, quality time spent just saying how you feel (the circumstances are irrelevant) and it's the first step to recovery. Sometimes it is impossible to confide in a loved one or a partner even if it doesn't involve them because it can be so difficult to open up your heart and soul and the worry of being a burden can be, in itself a worry.

My plea to you is if you are having some difficulties, use friends where you can. Use professionals if you don't have a friend you can trust, but whatever you do, do something. Make a difference to your own life and those who are touched by your presence who need you to be your 'normal' self.

It's hard for roughy-toughies and people of sound and solid constitution to admit there's a problem, because they think everyone else will think they've gone soft or they can't cope. You don't have to let the world know if you don't want to, but tell someone - an individual who can at least point you in the right direction - my friend did and her courage will see her through I have no doubt.

I've been watching some old footage on YouTube of Spike Milligan, one of my all time favourite writers and entertainers and isn't it ironic that he suffered from debilitating mental illnesses at various times in his life, blurring the gap between genius and madness. He wrote one of the funniest books I have ever read and which I go to sometimes for a giggle, 'The Bible According to Spike Milligan' (Penguin Books) and here's the opening paragraph:

And God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. And God saw the light and it was good; He saw the quarterly bill and that was not good.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.