Would love to be 'normal'...

As I write this blog tonight, I'm just catching my breath after having my back manipulated - the cracking heard coming from my back and neck was extraordinary.

I was weighed to day and I have lost another 3.6Kg in the last four week (7.9 pounds) bringing my weight down to 17 stones exactly. This means I've lost seven stones since 23 February 2009.

Being 6' 1" it means my Body Mass Index (BMI) is down to 32.1 which is still classed as 'obese', but I'm close to becoming 'overweight' instead and although that's not good either, it's much better. The next target may be unobtainable, who knows, but 'normal' would be lovely, but perhaps a step too far. My blood pressure seems normal for my age 130/70 which I am told is okay.

I am so grateful to my fellow bloggers for their encouraging comments and to Angela at work in occupational health for her sage advice and encouragement, colleagues who are very supportive at work and of course to my other half without whom, I would never have got this far.

Have a great week.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen; lend me your brolly!

Hello this wet and rainy Wednesday from the East Riding of Yorkshire in the UK.

A special hello to my colleagues, the brilliant and modern mum Gemma, who reads this blog during her very busy life currently looking after two very young and adorable children and to my colleage Emma, the breath of fresh air in the upper corridors - an official welcome to both.

What a busy few days since I last blogged on Saturday night. I spent Monday night in the wilds of Lincolnshire lecturing with a retired colleague on media issues to twenty switched on press office and PR cookies, a throw-back from a former life, but it gets me out twice a year into a different environment and I meet new people and reacquaint myself with old and dear colleagues who run the course. After a very comfortable stay over, I stayed in Lincoln the following morning having decided to take the day off (my diet went out the window, not with the excellent food provided at the college which I was very careful with, but because of the five glasses of free white wine which I was not careful with and which I am not used to since I've virtually cut alcohol out.)

Tuesday night I spent at my psychic circle again with good friends and acquaintences followed by a very late night watching Most Haunted on Living TV and after another meditation circle tonight, I am sitting down to write this with a cuppa at 10 pm ish, just about 'psyched' out.

I remember having an electronic conversation with Magnumlady, a blogger from near Sligo in Eire about friends or perhaps more accurately acquaintences and I certainly have lots more acquaintences than friends, that's how it is, but my goodness how important are both to one's mental well being. What would I do without the rich diversity of character, experiences and uniqueness that those around me provide to life in general? Kindness, generosity of spirit and humility are in abundance and I know they will get pay-back a thousand times for each selfless act, be it just a smile or something tangible that they give freely, it gives me a warm glow.

For some life isn't like that I know, and life isn't completely rosy for the vast majority of us in this modern, pressured, fast moving, reshaping world, but I suppose I count myself luckier than many and I gives thanks for it regularly.

My final chapters are for the diet tonight. I continue to lose weight, but this time, the monthly weigh-in only reveals a loss of 1.7KG or 3.74 pounds. On the positive side, it's a loss, on the negative side, it's not as much as I would have hoped, and that's because of a poorly knee I developed about six weeks ago. The exercise has been curtailed to a much lower level and it's clear to me that exercise is now the key albeit it's just walking and toning with gentle stretching and small weights. Today for the first day in those six weeks I have been pain free and of course what did I do? EXERCISE and I've had to take paracetamol because it's started to ache again, but I have to do it through the pain and fortunately it's just a fraction of what I've had to put up with just aches.

Now the time for the secret I said I would tell you. What did I start out weighing at the time I had the shock back at the end of February? 153Kg or 24 stones. I am now 111.8Kg or 17.6 stones. Still plenty to go. Shhhhh don't tell anyone, just between you and me.

A man says to the lady behind the counter in a loud drunken voice, "FISH, PATTIE AND CHIPS WITH A SMALL SAUSAGE AND CURRY SAUCE PLEASE!"
Shocked, the lady took off her glasses and with a stern look said, "Sir, this is a library."
"My God, I am so sorry," he replied straight away. "Fish, pattie and chips with a small sausage and curry sauce," he whispered.

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Autumn approaches - noisily

It's that time of the month when the old weigh scales start to groan at the very thought of my appearance. The last set of speaking weigh scales sneered at me when I got on, "One at a time please!" You just don't need it that sort of sarcasm from a machine.

I lost another 10 pounds in the last four weeks (4.6 Kg) making the grand total so far a loss of 6.2 stones (39.5 Kg) since that first fateful and emotional day of self discovery on the 23 February 2009. Next month, I'll reveal what I started out as weighing back then, something I have refused to divulge so far, but in a fit of rare temper the other day (not really temper but more controlled annoyance) blurted it out to a critic; needless to say I was disappointed to have said it, but it shut them up! What I wont be saying is what the goal is because in truth, I don't really know although I have a rough idea and I don't want to set myself up to fail.

Turned out nice today and although the breeze is taking the temperature down, it's nice and sunny again. I have noticed how many leaves are falling and the trees now have a tinge of yellow and orange on the higher branches signalling a definite march into Autumn. In just under a month, there will be Hull Fair, the biggest travelling fair in Europe (and if you haven't been perhaps you might like to have a trip here - it's fun) but that's when locals here usually recognise when Autumn comes to life with radiant colours of the many trees in the many parks and lovely East Yorkshire countryside. I suppose its been so cold and miserable in general, it feels like Autumn arrived some time ago. It'll soon be Christmas!

At last we've had the student finance letter for my youngest son through for his first year at University and although his loan is a paltry sum, (we'll have to stump up some significant funds) at least we have a reply, according to the BBC news site, thousands haven't yet received any notice and trying to get through to the finance people is impossible with a poor website, no response to e-mails and phone lines permanently engaged apparently.

A maiden at Uni, Miss Breeze,
Was weighed down with BAs and LitDs,
Collapsed from the strain,
Said her Doctor, "It's plain -
You're killing yourself by degrees."

Boom boom!

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Mixed bag...

Hi bloggers to this new week with some good news and less good news. Firstly, I would like you to do me a favour please. I would like you to read this blog by one of my regular blogging correspondents Magnumlady (Val) in Sligo who is experiencing a lot of frustration through the ineffectiveness of their local health service and the plight of her son Jonathan as a consequence. Let her know what you think by leaving her family a message of support. Thanks.

The diet is going on apace and today was 'weigh day'. The treadmill has been a big help I must admit and my other half has been very supportive of its use and indeed has started to use it herself. The sweat has been pouring off (yuk) in this warmer season - note I didn't say 'hotter'. In the last four weeks, I have lost over 12 pounds (5.6Kg). In her efforts to support me, my wife has been eating the same food and exercising herself, although she does have a job which involves a lot of walking and lifting and therefore is reasonably fit already. She got weighed herself and she has lost 19 pounds (8.6Kg).

In total then, since the end of February - I've lost 76.78 pounds, or 34.9 Kg, roughly five and a half stones.

Ironically, the picture above is my great grandmother who had this'fun' picture taken whilst on a trip to the seaside, just over seventy years ago (July 1939) - she looks a bundle of laughs!

My good friend Middleagedgapper will return in the next couple of days from his exciting adventure holiday in Turkey and I look forward to reading his blog with all the news and pictures. I am meeting him for a spot of tiffin on Friday this week. Welcome back. I wish I had the guts to do something like that, but it'll take me ages to get fit and I can't afford it (that's my excuse)! I would like to go and visit my ancestors First World War grave in Belgium one day and that might be a short break we'll take in the late autumn - in the car and across the North Sea ferry.

You may recall Ive been doing my family history for about thirty years now and I keep getting correspondence from all round the globe enquiring about the family and rarely are they connected - the enquiries are little more than a shot in the dark usually. I have however in the last day or so been corresponding with a lady in Kent - Janis who may well be connected to a great, great, great, great, great grandmother of mine, born back in 1769 in the sleepy hollows of Lincolnshire. Good to meet people from around the globe - like visitors to our blogs.

My story today concerns our favourite profession, bankers.

Two women were walking through the woods one morning when they nearly stepped on a frog on the path. "Help me, help me," croaked the frog. "I'm a banker, but a witch put a curse on me and turned me into a frog. If one of you gorgeous ladies would like to kiss me, I'll turn back into a handsome hunky banker."

One of the ladies picked him up and put him in her handbag. "Didn't you hear what he said?" Enquired the friend, "Kiss him and he'll turn into a handsome banker."

"Listen," her friend replied, "These days, he's worth more as a talking frog than a banker!"

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Do you smoke after sex? (I'll leave the punch line to you)

I got weighed today and I've lost 6.6 lbs or 3 Kg in the last four weeks. Although it's the smallest monthly loss so far, at least its still coming off and since my last weighing we've had a couple of meals out - so far, 64 lbs lost. Not doing too badly. Plenty of further flab to lose.

My ancestral families, with one or two minor and notable exceptions have always been big people. My grandmother used to say to me when I was a kid that if I ever grew big, I could explain that I "had big bones." Hmm, that never really worked. Some of my great aunts were as thin as rakes, painfully thin when I look at some of the old black and white photographs of them and some of that is down to smoking I'm sure and in other cases, perhaps a tough lifestyle with not a great deal of cash.

I haven't smoked since I was about 22, just a couple of months before we married. One day I was out of breath and I screwed my packet of fags up and threw them in the open fire. My wife to be nearly had a fit. I've never had a fag since and never fancied one either. She gave up not long afterward. Of course we used to go into the sweet shop on the corner and buy a packet of fags, then a box of matches because we always forgot them, then a packet of Polo mints to take away the cigarette smell on the breath and a quarter of sweets and so on and so on, so it was a very expensive habit when we looked back. We actually lost weight when we gave up!

I started when I was a very young teenager or perhaps when I was around twelve; my parents both smoked. To this day, I remember my first fag which I had in the upstairs loo. I was physically sick and my head spun around something dreadful - yet I persisted - why is that?

We smoked all sorts. The old man at the corner shop in Finkle Street in Cottingham, Mr Brocklesby or 'Brock' used to split a packet of five blue (filtered) Park Drive and sell us kids single fags for a penny. I used to hide mine in an old fountain pen which had no cartridge in case I was searched at school. I moved on to small filtered Cadets (I don't think you can buy them these days,) then Dunhills, very posh although I didn't like the taste and ended up with Lambert and Butlers, Embassy 'Number 6' and finally Benson and Hedges. Of course, being macho, I liked to be seen smoking Camels and I'm sure I was actually smoking camels - dead ones at any rate - they were foul. Occasionally I smoked Park Drive plain (no filters) - the damage I must have done - I regret it even now.

I tried the old roll ups, but never got the hang of it, I remember once putting a single strand of tobacco in the paper to save tobacco and when I lit it, it took a single second to burst into flames and burn my lip which the paper stuck to because my lips were too dry.

I even tried pipes, cigars (I used to like a Castella - quite long and thick, unlike me) those long black Cafe slim things with liquorice flavoured paper (very chic) but I eventually gave it all up. My first packet was about 20 new pence which of course is one new pence per cig. When I stand behind people at the counter when I'm buying my lottery tickets today and see them paying a fiver a packet, I'm glad I've stopped. If you buy twenty a day, that's thirty five quid a week, £140 a month, £1,680 per year and more importantly 25 pence per cig!

Do you remember some of these quotes from TV adverts?

"Ahhhh, a Condor moment" (pipe tobacco)
"Cool as a mountain stream, the coolest taste in smoking." Consulate menthol cigarettes - they were AWFUL!
"Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet; the mild cigar from Benson & Hedges." To the music of Bach's Air on a G string.
"I like a man who smokes St. Bruno." Pipe tobacco, usually provocatively quoted by an attractive brunette.
"Pure gold, from Benson & Hedges." Their packet was gold coloured.

Interestingly, while cigarette advertising was banned in the UK in 1965, you could still see cigar adverts right through to 1991.

Memories eh? As the weekend arrives, I can look forward to more reading because the weather forecast is poor for tonight and Saturday meaning no grass cutting or lounging in the garden. I've shifted habits this last couple of years by trying to cut the grass midweek so I can actually enjoy the garden on a weekend without working in it. Sensible you might think, not me, only just thought of it! Trouble is I'm often too tired to do it once I'm home after a busy day. Although I won't be able to get in it - I can look at it through the window as I'm plodding though my book which I must finish this weekend.

Here's today's story. Two elderly ladies were sat in a bus shelter one day and both were smoking while waiting for their bus. When it started to rain, one of the ladies reached into her handbag, pulled out a condom, cut the end off it, placed it over her cigarette so it wouldn't get wet and carried on smoking.
Her friend thought that that was an excellent idea. She went into the chemists the very next day and asked for a packet of condoms.
"What size?" asked the pharmacist.
"To fit a Camel," the old lady replied.

Have a great weekend!

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

New clothes required

I'm slightly worried about Colin the model. He's got through two locked doors into my garage while I was at work today and when I went for my constitutional this evening, I found him... on the treadmill! What is going on? I know he's like me, hitherto not very active - in fact positively comatose, but wooden artists models are NOT supposed to need exercise. I wonder what he's up to and I wonder which of my three lads he's conspiring with? No-one is admitting anything despite bright lights and the threat of crisps deprivation.
Anyway, while I'm worrying about what Colin will get up to next, I think it's time to divulge the latest diet update. The diet has been going well, nothing's changed - intake is the same, more exercise now and clothes decidedly too large. I can't remember if I ever told you that at the beginning of the diet, you start with a strict week, really low fat, very few points (and mine as a matter of interest was 28). The points refer to certain foods which are allotted points and 28 was the maximum I could have per day.

After the end of the week, the weighing was done and points should have been recalculated according to weight. Problem was my dearest never recalculated hence why my weight fell off, she should have increased it to 37 and never did (by mistake) - I stuck to 28 - but none the wiser!

But dramatic though it has been, thank goodness it's been okay - the diet has really given me hope and impetus to keep it going for good even after my body tells me it's reached the weight it should. After 20 weeks, I have now lost a grand total of ('weight' for it...)

57 pounds! (just over four stones)

The question I am asked is how much do I want to lose and I have never revealed that for two reasons: firstly I am embarrassed about how obese I had become (and still are although at a lower category); and secondly, I didn't want to set myself up to fail. I guess that at some stage, the body will come to a level of weight where it is happy and despite sensible diet, will lose no more. That's the point I no longer say I am on a diet, but I carry on with my healthier eating lifestyle (with gentle exercise) as a norm - and do you know what? I don't miss the chips, crisps, chocolate, pints of milk, cheese etc., etc., at all. I don't nibble at any of them because if I did, I reckon I'd be tempted back - so I just don't have it.

Easy? No and I can understand those who struggle with the psychological battle on a daily if not hourly basis. I don't have any answers save to say it was the shock of seeing myself in a glass wall one day on my way to work and suddenly realising in an instant what I had become without ever realising I had reached the point of being grossly overweight. Sheer shock.

Today's story is food related. A man and a woman were sitting at a table in a restaurant when the waitress noticed the man slide down his chair and under the table. The woman he was sat with looked remarkably unconcerned. The waitress thought she had better mention it.
"Excuse me," the waitress said, "I think your husband has just slid under the table."
"No," replied the woman coldly, "He's just walked in the door."

Whoops!

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Menagerie

Menagerie... in the context of this blog, 'a diverse or miscellaneous group'. So much to say, so little time to write blog - indeed, it's gone 10 pm and I should be in bed.

But, dear blogger friends some good news to impart about the diet. I hadn't forgotten to update you, but if you remember I am only getting weighed once per month and Tuesday was the day. My belt is getting smaller, my trousers baggier and there is a gap appearing around my collar making my shirts just loose enough for me to button the collar for the first time in many a good year.

Well I did it again, I lost 4.9 Kg or 10.75 pounds in four weeks. That makes, in total, a loss in three months of three stone one pound. Low fat (as few saturated fats as possible) is doing the trick, plenty of fluids and walking. My wife who is also doing the diet has lost 14 pounds in the same period.

Work is busy and I have just had a promotion which is good news in this economic climate, but the price to be paid is a lot more responsibility and staff to supervise which I thought I had left behind some three years ago. But I like the challenge and having supportive, intelligent and 'can-do' line managers helps drive the job ever forward. One of my valued work colleagues and friend has moved to another department and although his move is temporary, I suspect it will become permanent as he such a professional and will make excellent headway in a difficult role. One of my line managers is retiring shortly after exceptional service and he will be sorely missed, but I am very lucky as a human being to count him as a friend and I will follow his retirement and the exciting plans he has with a lot of interest - more on that when he goes in July.

A blogger friend Magnumlady who lives in Sligo, Ireland has complained that while we were having glorious sun last Bank Holiday weekend, she was having drenching rain and her latest lovely picture shows a flower, perhaps an iris, covered in rain. Well news for you Val, its been raining here and temperatures have dropped dramatically and a cooler breeze has set in for the time being - a bit of a shock, but a nice weekend is forecast - I'll order some sun for you.

My psychic work took a turn for the better this week with an excellent psychic circle and clearer contact with the world of spirit than I've had for a while, it made it all worthwhile. Psychic ability, skill or gift, whichever you prefer to call it goes in peaks and troughs - good weeks, bad weeks and indifferent weeks and I suspect it very much depends on how you feel, what your attitude is, how calm and relaxed you are and what meditation and practise you do.

Well that's about it for tonight. Having watched Manchester United get turned over in Rome by Barcelona (they just didn't turn up!) on very poor quality ITV coverage and helped my middle son write some letters to cancel all his bills now he's moved out of his student flat, I am now going for a meditation while listening to some very soothing Gregorian Chants in the background. I think this weekend, I'll post some details about the way I do meditation (from a very good teacher) and see what you think to having a go to relax the mind and body yourself.

"I want to be young and wild; and then I want to be middle aged and rich; and then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending I'm deaf."
Rowan Atkinson, Blackadder

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Reformed Crispaholic

It's that time again, the second month anniversary since I started my diet. In the first four weeks I lost 19.8 pounds (9kg). In the second four weeks I lost... wait for it... 14 pounds (6.5kg) - just a stone. Boy do I feel slightly better for it and although I haven't started an exercise regime in earnest yet (walking) I am moving around quicker and I am starting to get some energy back.

A A Milne once said, "The proof that God had a weird sense of humour is that, having invented the sublime mystery of haute cuisine, He went and gave it to the French!"

What's just as amazing is that the taste buds seem to have come back - I hear the same story from reformed smokers. I've found food again and haven't had one single packet of crisps or a glass of milk or biscuits - all my favourites. 'Hi I'm Rarelesserspotted and I'm a crispaholic, milkaholic and biscuitaholic,' - applause and shouts of 'yeah... ride on... go for it." I never much liked a lot of chocolate so it hasn't been too difficult but thanks go to my wife for making sure that we stay in the routine of counting what we have at the end of the day in a little book and for planning better for the following days in so far as shopping and meals is concerned. She doesn't need to lose weight but as a benefit of us both following the diet, she's lost 5 pounds (2.25kg) although it helps her that she uses the 'Wii fit'.

So, here's a recipe for roast vegetables, just a little sweet tasting which has been the plank of all our roast and meat meals rather than having a load of roast potatoes.

Roast Vegetables (serves 4)

One sweet potato (peeled and diced into cubes);
One small butternut squash (peeled de-seeded and diced into cubes);
One large parsnip (scraped and diced into cubes);
Half a turnip or swede (diced into cubes);
One large red onion (quartered) or substitute an ordinary onion if preferred;
Two Courgettes (sliced);
Mushrooms (peeled and quartered);
Clove of garlic (crushed) - optional.

Ground pepper for seasoning.
2 tablespoons of olive oil.

Put aside:

8 cherry tomatoes left whole.

Method:

Prepare all your vegetables as described and except the tomatoes, place them in an ovenproof dish. Season with ground pepper and drizzle on the olive oil.

Place at the top of a preheated oven, uncovered at 220 degrees or a high gas setting and roast for around 45 minutes. Take out of the oven and stir and then add the cherry tomatoes. Put back in the oven for another 15 minutes. Serve piping hot and enjoy!

"I'm already two years ahead on my daily fat allowance. I'm looking for skinny people to see if I can borrow theirs."
Jo Brand, comedienne

Having rain here today for the first time in a long time, and just after I spend two days over the weekend with the sprinkler on the grass to water in the weed & feed!

Chat soon

Ta-ra!

Diet - one month on...

For some reason, I had been very nervous today because I had an appointment with the occupational health nurse at work at 3.30 pm to be weighed for the first time since I started my diet four weeks ago. I decided not to get myself weighed once a week, because I would have felt annoyed or disappointed if I hadn't done so well. I feel I have done really well even if I say so myself - but would the weigh scale agree?

I began a Weightwatchers diet on the back of the same diet my better half started, I did one a few years back and lost three and a half stones so it clearly worked once and I am hoping it will do the same magic again. Low fat, plenty to eat, no rubbish or fast foods and although I miss my favourites, milk and crisps, I feel so much better for not having them at all - not even as a treat; one packet and I would have been hooked again. The milk I get through my tea and with breakfast cereal. I suspect if I had lost weight, most of it was through liquid, I pee for Britain!

With trepidation I pressed the buzzer on the door and waited to be admitted. The nurse greeted me with warmth and anticipation and I emptied my pockets and took my shoes off. I stepped on the scales and steadied myself and looked straight ahead at the wall (no point in looking down to see the reading, it was hidden under my stomach!)

"How do you think you've done?" She asked.

"Well okay I think, people have told me I have lost weight and I feel so much better. My cholesterol is on the floor, my blood pressure is excellent so all in all, I feel good."

"Well I have to tell you, in four full weeks, you've lost 9kg [19.8lbs or 1.4 stones.]"

I couldn't help but beam. That is fantastic! I thanked her for her support which has been so encouraging and not patronising at all. As I was walking to my car I felt like crying - I had achieved in four weeks better than I had dreamt but more than that, I had kept a promise to myself to do this and change my lifestyle and habits with food.

So there you are: if a fifty-something Yorkshireman can do it, anyone can. With the right support and encouragement the sky's the limit. The next goal is to keep losing it, I know physiologically it will not be possible at the same rate, but with a reasonable loss on a monthly basis, I can reach my ultimate goal within the next eighteen months or couple of years and more over, the change will hopefully remain permanent along with the food lifestyle which is the hardest goal of all. I'll report again in a month.

Top Ten Reasons Why Diets Are Better Than Sex

10. You don't have to take off your clothes.
9. You can go from diet to diet without feeling guilty.
8. Carrots are ALWAYS hard.
7. On a diet, you carefully consider everything you put in your mouth.
6. It's GOOD if a diet is over quickly.
5. Dieting doesn't make you pregnant.
4. You can doze off in the middle if you want to.
3. It's okay if your dog watches.
2. You can do it with your best friend's partner.

And the number one reason why dieting is better than sex....

1. You don't have to worry if it was good for the cottage cheese too.

Top Ten Reasons... thanks to http://www.dietjokes.co.uk/jokes/

Chat soon

Ta-ra!

Sights, sounds and tastes of yesteryear...

As a lad growing up in Cottingham, East Yorkshire with my parents and grandparents in a three storey Victorian house you might imagine that being born only 14 years after the war ended, perhaps things were still a little tight and our diet I remember was interesting to say the least.

My motive for writing today's blog is to test my memory of the sights and sounds, smell and tastes of the old house. Starting with the diet which brought all this to mind, my Grandfather was a Londoner, born back in 1882 in Islington. One of his delights was to eat tripe and onions. He was the only one to eat it mind; my mother cooked it and never a morsel of it passed her lips. It looked disgusting: white and spongy and the smell is unique. It was cooked in milk as I remember and the sweetness wafting through the house belied its looks. He never ate other traditional London foods such as jellied eels or anything else like it thank goodness. Thinking about what tripe actually is, I'm glad I never tried it (look it up if you don't know!)

One treat of course was bread and 'dripping' after the Sunday roast. For the uninitiated in this modern world, the meat was fairly fatty and lumps of lard were often used to baste the meat. When the roast was cooked, sliced up and served, the juices from the meat had the fat spooned off and placed in a cup and the meat juice used for the gravy. When the fat in the cup was solidified, that was the dripping, served up on doorstep slices of bread liberally sprinkled with salt! Any 'Weightwatcher' would faint at the thought of it - and one slice would have probably made up the whole week's points.

The kitchen was tiny compared to the rest of the tall rambling house, probably 8 feet by six feet, very narrow because there was a cold walk-in pantry taking up much of the space. There was the traditional marble slab to keep food cold and let me tell you with high ceilings, brick walls and no window to let sunlight filter through, it was effective. The gas cooker was temperamental unlike today's cookers and if mother was baking, you couldn't enter the kitchen or shut doors quickly anywhere in the house for fear of the draft causing her cakes to sink! We never starved although having snacks was difficult because the Anchor butter was always rock hard and the bread which you had to cut with a bread knife could never take it and inevitably I ended up with a lump of hard butter and loads of holes in the bread! The Stork margarine mother used mainly for cooking was no better and when I was young I remember slicing a lump off thinking it was cheese and let me tell you - I was nearly sick! The once a week treat was Smith's crisps with the little twisted blue bag of salt so you could sprinkle it to taste.

We made our own homemade ginger beer too, until the time when the bottles of ginger beer were put outside in the warm weather and the tops secured far too tightly. Of course the fermenting yeast kept building up the pressure and whilst eating tea one day, a series of loud explosions rent the air as one by one each bottle exploded with the pressure. After that we bought it in from the Jones' delivery man who came with bottles of soft drinks once a week on his open backed lorry, (tuppence on the bottle if we gave it back.) His ginger beer, in glass bottles delivered in a orange painted wooden crate had secured wired stoppers on the top.

The house must have had servants in years gone by because there were still bell pushes in some of the rooms and in the middle downstairs room next to the kitchen there was a bell board which told the servant where the bell was rung from. The house had huge ceilings, probably ten feet high with picture rails and the house was draughty and usually chilly, no double glazing or central heating then. Enough reminiscing for now - time for bed with a slice of toast thinly spread with margarine and a spoon full of marmalade - 1 'Weightwatcher' point!

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Diet Started... Day three and not hallucinating yet!

The late, great Harry Secombe said, "My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it."

I started my diet on Monday and the planning for my other half to join in starts soon and we will also get a grip of better planning for meals and shopping around our dietary needs. The shocking realisation was that I might have to lose nearly half my weight over a period of about two years! Hell fire - it looks worse when i write it down. But I am absolutely determined.

Buying the right food can be a little more expensive I guess which is why I always think it's a bit of a dilemma if you are not particularly well off and need to diet. After all, I can't use the tins of tuna in the back of the cupboard that have a 'sell by' date of June 2006, nor can the soft squelchy bit of cucumber end in cellophane at the bottom of the fridge be of any real use. The carrots bend like fingers and the celery is now yellow instead of green. The brown Cos lettuce has bred with the furry tomatoes and produced something that snaps at me every time I put my hand in the fridge.

I think I'll start an on line petition on the 'Number 10' web site for tax relief for slimmers.

Let's see: taking into account inflation, cost of living, embarrassment compensation, tax saved on not having NHS treatment for mass liposuction, new clothing allowance, rabbit food allowance, buying new recipe books allowance, allowance for time spent responding in kind to people who say they think you look ill when you've lost a few pounds, denial of crisps and chocolate allowance - I think the Government owes me money for losing weight and with a hell of a lot of weight to lose - I could be rich!

One - two - three - snap! I'm back in the room! Time for a reality check. Will someone tell me what the hell is poly-unsaturated fat? No don't. I think I'd rather be ignorant and stick with low fat, sensible, moderate eating based on an old Weightwatchers diet book we found in a cupboard from a few years ago. My friends have been very helpful with their hints, all of which contradict each other.

We're off and I'll keep you posted as I only want to weigh myself once a month. My first weighing on the day I started my diet resulted in a zero weight loss. (Ha! I'm not telling you how much I weigh - it's a national secret.)

"Self delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scales."
Paul Sweeney

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Diet Tips Required...

I once asked my wife how I could lose 25 pounds of ugly fat. She replied far too quickly, "Chop your head off!" I was watching the BBC news yesterday and a report on obesity and as I am clinically obese and don't normally like to watch such programmes, I did take particular notice of one woman who had lost a lot of weight: she said, "You don't see many old fat people, they've usually gone by then." Hmmmmmm. I have asked my wife who has a little more time on her hands these days to consider planning for a diet again! Having reached the 'dangerous fifties' I have to take action.

"I went on a diet, stopped all drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days, I lost two weeks!" Joe E Lewis

The problem I have is that when I am determined to do something I do it. That's fine, but the trouble with dieting is (years ago, I lost three and a half stone through dieting) once I've taken the weight off - keeping it off. A change of lifestyle is needed which is more problematic than it first seems. I don't know if you've ever noticed that it can be quite expensive to diet - reasearching and buying the right foods, organising and planning meals and then fitting them in.

Listen to the language: 'The problem is...' and 'The trouble with dieting is...' and '...more problematic...'

I am not talking myself out of doing it, honestly but my other half will have to take responsibility for us both, we both need to shed some weight. Before - it was just me on the diet so the family ate snacks clandestinely, had treats behind my back, openely ate packets of crisps etc. That will have to change, temptation must be removed! I heard on the radio the other day that they had brought out or are bringing out a new drug which when used alongside a diet can help shed pounds although it does have side effects the report said that was not approprate to talk about in polite conversation - what, what?

So what kind of diet? There are hundreds: some controvertial; some superficial that can be found in a woman's magazine for example; some advertised on the television but cost money to join and be monitored - I haven't got a clue. All my grandparents were thin at my age and I once put that down to a healthy wartime diet - in fact there could be nothing further than the truth - a wartime diet was horrendous. What made them thin in the war was hard work, worry about whether they or their loved onces would survive tomorrow and a simple but poor diet, particularly for those unable to grow their own vegetables for instance.

So I'll stick to the old diet regime that we had a few years back and for which my other half has kept the paperwork and see how it goes. I don't want to weigh myself to get some baseline data from which to work, but I'll bite the bullet and do it with my eyes closed.

I once got onto a speaking weigh scale at a local station; stood on the scale, put the money in and the machine said, with a sarcastic tone, "one at a time please!"

Chat soon

Ta-ra