All Change

I decided I needed to exercise,  so on my day off,  I used the morning to walk around my childhood village of Cottingham. 

The day was chilly but bright and calm,  but I got wrapped up and set off at a reasonable pace.  Cottingham is a pleasant and friendly place a couple of miles north of Hull and several people who I passed wished me a good morning. 
I walked along Priory Road,  a country road between Cottingham and Hull.  A single magpie flew across my path and I saluted it,  although I'm not sure what the motorists though as they passed me,  but at least I didn't spit and turn around like some do.  There were many horses busily grazing in the fields,  some with horse blankets,  some without. "Do not feed the horses,  they bite"  signs are abundant on the ranch fencing.  A bunch of pretty plastic red roses were tied to an elder tree,  in tribute to a loved one killed in a road traffic collision there some years back. 

My mobile phone exercise application informed me I'd walked a mile,  so I turned round and headed back and into the village centre.  A quick coffee and a couple of texts and I meandered through the east of the village.  Childhood memories came flooding back,  Hallgate where I lived looks familiar but in truth,  everything has changed. 

The old fashioned butchers which had sawdust on the floor and half cows hanging from the ceiling is now a deli.  Cottages are now a pub.  The long demolished vicarage is an old folks home.  I passed by St Marys church,  largely unchanged and along the snicket passed the tiny village hall,  the charity cottage bequeathed to the village in the 1700s and the even smaller church hall.  Another cottage along the snicket,  now restored and modernised was where I used to buy free range eggs as a child. The chickens no longer roam the area.

Continuing along Hallgate, I passed my childhood home  which now has a blue plaque to recognise Jacob Bronowski,  humanist,  scientist and broadcaster (The Ascent of Man) who lived there in 1942. Rounding the corner into Beck Bank,  the huge gothic and dark house called Cherry Garth has gone and now replaced by a modern set of flats with the same name.  The original house was so large,  it had a ballroom at the back which is where I used to rehearse when I belonged to the Cottingham Dramatic Society (CDS).

The large wide beck which carried water from Cottingham to Hull is all covered in and hides where we used to play as kids.  A tiny park at the end of the road which was really just a patch of grass and a few trees is still there.  My adventurous and country brought up dad used to climb to the top of the chestnut trees hunting for conkers for me. 

So,  2.5 miles walked,  fresh air and an enjoyable experience starts off what I hope will be a positive and pleasant week. 

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Change Available Here

The weather here in East Yorkshire has certainly turned autumnal these past couple of weeks and in the last few days, high winds from the north and east and quite a bit of rain has turned the days unpleasant to be out in. Even yesterday at 10.30 am, the street light was on it was that dull. It's hard to come to terms with after such a pleasant summer. 

Will the real me step forward?

But as the autumn comes, things change and it's not only the weather and nature that changes but the cycle of life in general provides changes for us all, some good, some not so good.

I have been looking back at some Facebook postings that someone puts on my timeline of products from the 1980s that you may have used and some of them have been toys that my kids certainly had. It's quite nostalgic. In general, I love nostalgia, looking back at pleasant events, things, some places and people for example. Memories are by the most part okay but there are some things I'd rather not remember - often because they are embarrassing, or not too pleasant or not very positive as a whole. 

One of my mantras is that you can't look back to the past with regrets because you can't change anything that happened back then. You can manipulate memories if you can get away with it,  but the past is a series of electrical impulses in your mind recorded for posterity or placed there for, as we sometimes think, the sole purpose of making you shiver and cringe. You can't change it and it forms the basis of who you are today. The collective experiences, physical, mental and spiritual is you. Your attitude today is coloured by it, your actions now are often determined by it and that may be good in a protectionist sort of way if you want to avoid falling into the same trap as an unpleasant past event. By the same token, you may have already learned from the lesson and you use the past to move you forward at a pace. 

I fully accept that experiences from the past can be debilitating in many, many ways.  

But you can't change the past. You can do something about not letting the past hurt you, affect you or colour your future. I admire, applaud and support those that want to understand the past, understand why it is hurting them or affecting them now in a negative way and give themselves tools for making the future whole and more comfortable personally. Good on you - go for it.

Have I looked to my past and tried to understand how it makes me the person I am today? Certainly because I wanted to understand why I am like I am and this helps to change things about who I am today and hopefully in the future. I also accept I could do more in this area of my life.

I have written on here in the past about the fact that we have supposedly free will and I think that is largely true within the constraints of the law of the land and it's also governed by your physical and mental abilities and your conscience. There is tonnes of philosophical writing on free will, lots of theories, scientific and personal and what it's based on, some of it I don't understand.

What I do understand is that you have the free will to change a lot of things - personal issues particularly but looking to the future, what changes can you make and agree in your own mind that it is okay to change? Looking after the 'me' factor is neither selfish nor is it unacceptable in the priorities of life. Do your children and family come first? Do you risk your life to save a drowning man despite your responsibilities? We would all like to say 'yes' to the first and the second question comes with qualifications for some of us - can you swim; is it highly dangerous; is there back up available to help you if you get into trouble; are you fit enough; do I care? I guess some people don't think twice about a rescue, their nature is one of love for a fellow suffering man - 'others come first'; others would consider their options first - they are not selfish, they are simply logical, pragmatic and realist. Neither option or attitude is right or wrong by the way, only you can judge when you are placed in that situation. It's too easy to judge others.

But you have the choice. The free will to decide and mainly at your own pace too.  

So what is it you want to change? I want to change a whole host of things - some are conditioned things, some are cultural things, some are beliefs, both personal and professional, some physical, some emotional.

I have decided to change something that doesn't exist: the future expected path of my life, which  is determined by a whole host of things: traditional family expectations for older life, again - culture, probable physical health, financial circumstances, mental health, happiness, destiny and the list goes on.

Why would I want to change what might be? That's a matter for me to know right now, it will become clear in time, but my past will not affect the future if I can help it. Why, just because certain things have happened in the past will it affect my future? I have likened this change to my expected path to having a clean piece of paper before me.
 
The question I have only recently asked myself (recent = past two or three years) is, do I want to be a different 'me' in the future from the 'me' of the past? 

I am fed up with having my present and probably my future coloured and adjusted by my past. My plans for the future are fairly clear in my head for some parts of it and less clear for others. Do I use my experience of the past to make judgements? 'Yes' but only because my past is who I am today, but I don't normally go back if I can help it to the past to justify it using specific examples of why I will or I won't do this or that.

Is change easy? No, it is one of the most unsettling thing for a human being, to be drawn outside of a comfort zone. In other words, the unknown, which is what the future is. There is absolutely no certainty in the future and as the old saying goes (attr. to Helmuth Karl Bernhard Graf von Moltke the elder): 'the plan of action never survives first contact with the enemy.' So, this indicates that nothing ever goes smoothly, even though you can put down the best of plans - expect the unexpected. The other certainties about the future are the tax man and death, a quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin. I'm not sure about those either to be honest (but that's a different debate).

I think we should all use our free will to change what we don't like about ourselves and other things around us if that's possible, to protect as best we can our uncertain future. Don't sit back and accept what isn't acceptable any more. Small steps perhaps, an objective a day or a week. 

I feel less inclined to be one of the flock of society's sheep any more. I want to be a different 'me'. When the time comes to make a decision or decisions, I will be a different person, already changed by my evolving thought patterns and attitudes, ready to be who I really am.    

Do what I've done - get a friend (in my case), or friends who you can trust to help you in your quest for change and self understanding and perhaps most important of all - self belief.

These are just personal thoughts, nothing academic and I guess that they can be easily criticised, but it's a point of view. What's yours?

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

All Change... for the Next Stage in the Journey of Life

Today is a little bit of a sad day at work. The organisation I work for is undergoing reorganisation and is preparing for the Comprehensive Spending Review (CSR) cuts to kick in.

People are moving about, people are leaving of their own accord and some are taking voluntary redundancy too - thankfully, no compulsory redundancies planned. This person works in our administration and is one of life's good people. Helpful, competent, knowledgeable, very personable indeed and smiles a lot - will go the extra mile. At least this person will be staying in the organisation, just moving to another site completely.

The place won't look or feel the same, and not necessarily for this one person leaving, but for the several others as well who have moved on.

People definitely maketh the place.

In my office alone (of four people) one has gone on maternity leave and is unlikely to come back with us as the role has gone and one of my other colleagues retires at the end of next week after 42 years of loyal local government service. Leaving two. The work hasn't gone away - well not yet anyway.

I've moved several times in my career within the organisation through promotions and development and every time you adjust to new people, new surroundings and new challenges, but nothing quite prepares you for the people you don't get to see anymore other than by chance meetings once in a Sheffield flood.

Well the weather has turned again today - rain and strong winds and according to the Met Office, there are some stronger wind warnings for the beginning of the weekend. I bottled out of washing the car by hand (not recommended for automatic car washes according to the handbook) because it was so bitterly cold last weekend. I might miss out this weekend because of the rain.

I feel sorry once more for the folk of west Australia who are now facing 180 miles per hour winds, high seas and driving rain with Cyclone Yasi. I watch that with interest and will send my thoughts to them in my meditation tonight.

By the way, if you are ever feeling the need for some distance healing and positive thoughts sending to you, never hesitate to ask. I doesn't hurt!

My wife said to me today in a reflective mood, "Oh my goodness, my boobs have gone, my stomach has gone, my bum has gone. Tell me something good about my legs."

"Blue goes with everything dear."

I never realised black eyes were so painful!

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Times they are a' changing...

Regular followers may recall I decided to shave my beard off a couple of weeks ago whilst I was on a weeks break. I left my moustache on, I daren't go the whole hog (coward) and the reaction has been almost universally positive - just one dissenter. Bearing mind my beard has been on around eighteen years and my moustache for about thirty years.

The funniest thing though was yesterday that independently, two people said that they thought that growing a moustache suited me. Hmm. When I pointed out that I had had a moustache for around 30 years, they both looked at me in a puzzled way. I have worked with them both for a few years and it took them absolutely ages to figure it out!

Shows how observant we really are. That's why magicians get away with all sorts because we don't look at or take in what we see. Distraction, diversion, slight of hand and we are easily taken in.

I said in an earlier blog that I was going though a period of change and that's manifested itself in a number of ways, weight loss, beard loss, improved fitness, spirituality etc etc., and at work we are going through a period of change too. Consultants have come into our organisation which in itself should be some concern, after all, consultants take the wrist watch off your wrist and try to sell it back to you - tell you something you already know and charge you a fortune for it.

Just for a change these consultants are trying to sell us their philosophy which will change our organisation at the strategic level and it all looks very exciting and will make for real long term changes and improvement in the way we plan ahead and look after our cash in these difficult times. It's also good to be involved albeit in a lot of extra hard work, but no doubt the benefits are well worth it.

Today's story is completely off topic, it just made me giggle so here it is.

The headmistress of a girls school approached a male friend who was a celebrated author to give a talk to the pupils about sex. He didn't have any experience in lecturing on the subject and after a lot of persuasion, he agreed to do it but he was far too embarrassed to tell his wife. So he told his wife he was giving a lecture on sailing and wrote an appropriate entry in his diary.
A few days after the lecture, the headmistress bumped into the lecturer's wife in the supermarket and said, "You husband was marvellous at the school, so very illuminating, all the pupils thoroughly enjoyed it and I know learned a lot from him."
"Strange," said the wife, "He's only done it twice, the first time he was sick and the second time he lost his hat."

Chat soon

Ta-ra.