Trousers on the Line

There are few delights in life, well my life anyway, than to spend a warm balmy sunny day in the garden. Gardening, reading, chatting, watering, weeding, feeding, cutting, tidying, drinking tea, composting, cleaning and drinking more tea.

Looking up into the rays of light between the trees to see thousands of insects and other things drifting slowly along, back lit and highlighted by the sunlight gave me a sense of relaxation along with the smells of spring and the warmth - wonderful and hopefully a sign of things to come.

We do, however need some rain. Ironic isn't it that after the worst winter for years and all that water from melted snow that made everything mushy and sodden, we now need some rain.

To boot - I even found time to prepare and cook tea - chicken breast stuffed with chopped mushrooms and coated with apple and sage and onion stuffing. Ah what a day.

I am reading one of those - 'don't want to put it down' type books, a novel by Diane Setterfield called The Thirteenth Tale; so far, and I'm only a third the way through, it has everything you could wish for in a good book. It was a choice for the book club I follow on Facebook.

The weather was even warm enough to put washing out on the line today.

I mentioned that I went to a wedding yesterday in Beverley, East Yorkshire which went very well. A short registry office service followed by pictures in the attached garden. The reception, held a few miles away in Hornsea (on the East Yorkshire coast) was super: short speeches (excellent), superb buffet, table magician who was very good, a singer and a saxophonist accompanying him were fantastic. A great afternoon all round.

The funny bit, and this is what nerves do for you, the bride had a fit of giggles. This came about after an ever-so-slight but definite pause from her when the registrar asked if she knew of any lawful impediment why they shouldn't be married. Comic timing to perfection.

A great weekend, shame it has to finish, I hope you all have a great week. It's a short one for me, working three days, Thursday off flexi-time and then the Bank Holiday Easter weekend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Garden Tidy Time

I had the first wander in the garden this year to do some real work and we've seen a bit of sun today which gives a sort of mini spring feeling. I know I did a bit of clearing up of leaves when the snow went, but this is the first time I've been able to stand on the grass because it's been so wet.

I cut down a broken branch from one of my favourite bushes which had snapped under the weight of the snow and I was going to cut down the clematis Montana (the prolific early flowering variety) because I thought it was dead. The shoots were dark brown and brittle but on closer inspection, hey, there were leaf buds sprouting so apart from a trim, the Montana is still there to give us some early spring flowering cover.

Sadly, for the first time, none of the cacti in the greenhouse survived the winter. This is very unusual because they are not difficult to keep in cold climes providing the conditions are right (dry for example), but they were all stone dead, wilted and rotted. However the bay bush and my pots of lavender plants did survive in the greenhouse and I'll be putting them out in the next couple of weeks in their pots once this latest batch of frost goes.

There were loads of twigs from the trees on the grass and they're all in the council bin ready for disposal and my next job probably next weekend will be to empty the bottom of the compost bin and put it into the borders. There is a train of thought that compost from bins should go in the ground earlier to allow the frosts to break it down, but the bad weather has prevented that this year (good excuse.)

All the annual flowers are peeping through and the last of the snowdrops still shine white set against the dark soil. The begonia is the first flower other than snowdrops to show itself, just one lonely spike, but there will be others coming out soon.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Season of Mist and Mellow Fruitfulness

It's been a lovely autumnal Sunday here in sunny East Yorkshire with wall to wall sunshine, a light breeze, a chill in the air and that unique smell of fallen leaves and dampness. I went for a stroll around the Sunday Market at the Humber Bridge this morning and there are a few more stalls than normal including some craft stalls with gift ideas for the festive season. Visitors were a-plenty.

The two days of bonfire night celebrations have come to an end and the smell of cordite has drifted away on the breeze. For the first time in a few years, I haven't found a spent rocket in the garden.

Keats' poem on autumn with his 'Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness...' is evocative of how autumns should feel and is a little romantic, but with nights drawing in and being dark by five, cozy nights in are very enjoyable.

On the way home after a brief visit to the DIY store for some picture hooks, I passed the King George V playing fields in Hessle and saw the low autumn sun shining across a playing field full of kids playing football watched by keen parents muffled up against the cold. I have spent many hours for many years watching my eldest playing football on the local playing fields.

We spent most of Saturday in the garden after a brief sojourn into Hull for some shopping and buying my first ever tuxedo for a Christmas Ball coming up in early December. In total we filled six large tonne size bags with shrub clippings and leaves from the shave we gave the garden and by the end of the day, the grass was dry enough to give a high cut.

It looks as though we might have had a fox in the garden, there are a few about in the neighbourhood because there was a hole in one of the raised borders which indicates it might have been digging for a frog or a toad. The birds are slowly coming back, the dunnocks have made their first appearance today for a couple of months and the robins are taking more notice of the work we've done in their effort to discover uncovered tasty morsels. The squirrels are now feeding more regularly at the bird table.

The final job to do in the garden is to lift the dahlias after they've been bitten by frost and indeed there is frost forecast this week.

It's going to be a lazy day for the rest of the day with a bit of reading, perhaps a football game on the TV if my other half is not watching the dross she records (she's not well poor ducks - chest infection). There's roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for tea although there is only three of us instead of the normal four (five when the boy is home from Uni) because my eldest son is spending his 24th birthday in Dublin - lucky lad. I've never been but would like to go.

Today's story revolves around a passenger plane that is in real difficulties and the Captain warns the passengers that they may have to crash land in the hills and it will be perilously dangerous. A female passenger stood up and shouted, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She took her top off and cried, "Is there anyone on the plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stood up, took off his shirt and shouted, "Iron this!"

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Britain's (allegedly) Got Talent

A very pleasant warm balmy day today allowed me to spend some leisure time in the garden potting some plants up that had come through the post, replace a well worn, split garden hose that's been in the family for thirteen years, finally put a pump in the fountain, water the weed and feed into the grass and pump up the wheelbarrow tyre. I know how to have a good time!

The local football team in the Premiership, Hull City have been relegated today. I'm surprised they lasted so long, but they have been poor of late and that's an understatement. Dogged by poor management, under performing and, in some cases, obscenely overpaid players as well as financial problems, it was just a matter of time. I don't support them, but I am still sorry to see their demise from the top flight.

The fish are unwilling to come to the top of the pond and take the food I'm putting in for them which is a little puzzling, but perhaps they will become hungrier as the temperature rises. They look healthy enough if not a little lethargic. The pond plants are looking really good after I re-potted some into new baskets having spilt them and the picture above is the first plant to flower, a beautiful marsh marigold.

As I type this, my family are watching Britain's (allegedly) Got Talent. I want to go out for a looooong walk when this sort of stuff comes on. Sorry if you like it - it makes me cringe. There are some real strange people on there but I suppose you have to give them credit for having the bottle to go on knowing they'll be laughed at and ridiculed. Perhaps their loved ones should also have the courage to tell them not to humiliate themselves on national TV if they really haven't got any talent.

My sister in law came round about half an hour ago and brought a bottle of wine - I've given her three clematis plants I have in pots that I no longer have use for and she's put them up against a fence. I'm glad they have been put to use and I'll enjoy the vino. She's a star!

There's no-one on Facebook, MSN or Skype, so it's an early night with a good book and a drop of that Shiraz I think.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

The sun has got it's hat on...

What a fabulous Saturday; I've just taken a break from being in the garden all morning. In fact, I've been in the garden most evenings all week and it's been great - ahhhhh fresh air and sun!

A warm welcome to a new follower. I can't tell you much about Ciara de Burca, (Ciara being a Gaelic/Irish name) - welcome indeed.

We've done some good stuff in the garden this week, put two tons of chipped bark on borders and a ton of soil to top up borders and dips in the grass which I'm trying to level. I had been given a mix of old rockery stones from a colleague of my wife's who clearly wanted rid of a mixed jumble of stones. With what soil I had left I decided to make a small rockery to put some heathers in just to cover a spare piece of garden in semi shade that's never done a lot. When the heathers spread, you won't be able to see what a motley collection of miss-matched stones they are.

The trees in the garden are covered by a Tree Protection Order (TPO) which to be honest is a pain in the ass really because I can't do anything with the trees at all unless I get permission - I can't trim them, lop them - nothing. The council have consented to me getting someone in to trim off the twigs and branches that are on the lower trunk that not only look untidy but cut the light out of the garden. Getting consent to do these simple jobs has taken all of two months! Bureaucracy gone mad.


The rise where I live is built on the grounds of an old house which was turned into a nursing home then demolished in the late 1970s. All the TPO did was preserve the trees that were here for the nursing home. The trouble is they are really too close to our houses and most of them have been chopped down and replaced over the years because they were not good specimens anyway. All this work will do is give us a lot more light into the garden making a more pleasant place to sit in the summer.

This afternoon, I'm putting a second coat of epoxy paint on the fountain to seal it and make it waterproof, then next weekend I can put the centre pieces in which the water flows over and then I can fill it with water - that's if we don't have a hosepipe ban after a few days of sunshine. Brother in law next door, who is a star, is going to give me a hand in servicing my lawn mower (I'm ashamed to say in ten years, it's never had a service at all!).

Enjoy the weekend

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Mothering Sunday and Loo Rolls

Bit of a strange day today; sadly our dog died having become ill overnight, the Vet did the kindest thing and we await her ashes.

Cindy, a Spaniel, was 14 years of age and part of the family, very close to the children and as soft as a brush. She had deteriorated in the last two years or so becoming deaf and increasingly blind, but she was still active.

Years ago, she was one of twin bitches kept together by someone we knew and was being attacked by her twin sister bitch. We took Cindy, the docile one of the two, just a year old, a few months after moving into our present house. She'll be missed.

Mother's day today and both mothers had a visit and we took them some potted plants to brighten their days. My mother is progressing well after having a hip replacement and is walking about even visiting Tescos yesterday with the trolley as support.

I didn't know this until I read it on Wikipedia, but Mothering Sunday has a religious origin going back to neolithic times and as the Romans converted to Christianity, the masses would go to the local cathedral to honour the Virgin Mary and the mother church and the modern revival of the day came about in World War 2 and has been popular ever since, not least by shops!

Here's the thing, although I have no figures for the UK, according to IBISWorld, for Mother's Day, the Americans spend $2.6 billion on flowers, $1.53 billion on pampering items such as spas etc., and $68 million on greetings cards. Phew.

I thought I would give you an update on the toilet roll situation. I've stopped collecting now and put them to good use and here they are...

They are potted up and standing in the greenhouse with sweet pea seeds in them and hopefully in about two weeks time, they'll be poking their little green leaves through. I lost all my Begonia tubers this winter which is a shame, but I got twelve free with some plants I bought - so all is well and they are now in their pots. I've managed two half days in the garden this weekend and I've scared the sun and the neighbours with wearing my shorts - that's got to be some sort of record - mid March, but with virtually no breeze, it's been pleasantly warm.

The compost bin has been mostly emptied, a new border has been created around a fountain we bought last year and the fresh compost has been dug in ready for some red geraniums late spring early summer. I've even given the grass its first cut and (don't tell any gardening professionals) it was a very low cut and managed to get all the remaining straggling leaves, twigs and other rubbish off the grass and it looks very presentable. I promise to raise the blades for cutting for the next few weeks. It really does have some moss in it which is my fault for cutting so low, but I'm thinking of getting someone in to give it a treatment; they come and put stuff on your lawn which can't be bought four times a year. My brother in law next door has it done and it looks great - no moss and wonderfully green.

I didn't get to bed until three-ish this morning after doing a paranormal investigation in an old building in the old part of Hull. It was a very interesting night, although there were very few spirits around, it was a good atmosphere and a good little team of ten thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm going to sift through all the photographs and video footage to see if we captured anything. The beauty of digital cameras and their instant accessibility to pictures allowed one or two of the team to see that they had captured some unexpected and unexplained anomalies on their photographs.

Hope you've had a good weekend, have a great week.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Sunshine and Optimism

I hope you've all had a good week and the sunshine has seemed to have brought a little optimism about the place which is very welcome indeed.

I've just come back from doing Tarot readings for a couple of dear friends and distant work colleagues and have enjoyed a lovely relaxing night in good company. G was slightly worried about having a reading, she's never had one before and right up to me turning up was considering whether or not to cancel. The reading went ahead and was done with compassion, truth and tact and in fact was entirely positive as I knew it would be. Both friends will give a small donation to charity for the readings which they said they enjoyed which is fantastic and I am grateful to them for their hospitality and generosity to good causes.

Well I have so much to do in the garden this weekend. I was in Liverpool for the first decent weekend for months last weekend so missed out so I'm going to have to graft to get the place tidied up, trimming and pruning done and what I can't recycle and compost, get off to the tip.

My compost bin has filled up during the winter with peelings from the kitchen that are perfectly preserved in the cold and haven't started to rot down at all, but I guess after the first lawn trim in a couple of weeks, the grass clippings will help to get some warmth going as it decomposes and starts the composting processes going. I need to put the compost from the bottom of the bin on the borders.

Signs are about of growth: the daffs are slow this year bit the snowdrops are just flowering and the birds are chasing each other. The grass verges on the city's dual carriageways are full of crocus and the purples, yellows and white are adding much needed colour to faded and washed out green grass. Nights are pulling out and I went to work in a fleece rather than a padded jacket today!

Time for a list, haven't done one for a while.

Although I'm 30+ years out of practice in the art of picking up members of the opposite gender, there are some lines I'd definitely NOT use...

"You wanna see my collection of Jack the Ripper memorabilia?"
"Let's make the most of this because I'm only out on day release."
"Excuse me while I use my phone. I have to ring my mother if I'm going to be out after nine thirty."
"Who wants safe sex anyway?"
"It's late - you'll do."
"I work in a slaughterhouse - how about you?"
"What are your views on handcuffs?"
"I'm a lawyer - Trust me!"
"You'd be a real babe if you lost three stones."

Have a great weekend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra
Thanks to Goeff Tibballs for the lines

Toast for the day...

A warm welcome to Diane Parkin, fellow blogger and from Yorkshire to boot who has joined this small but select band of followers. Check her highly readable and interesting blog here - Diane Parkin

Great day today... lots done and what lovely autumnal weather, clear blue skies, chill and calm. The downstairs loo had to be broken into the other day because the lock had broken and we couldn't get in. A trip to the local B & Q this morning was successful in finding a new 'snick' which my other half fitted this afternoon so we have a loo that can be secured to save any embarrassment and we can now set the house alarm on a night. I also met an old friend who I haven't see for a few years in B & Q, Mark, who looked very well and we caught up with family news, his children are the same age as ours. He is a deputy head at a local 'secondary' school and he has just had a very successful OFSTED inspection.

Sainsburys was full to the gunnels and there were no small trolleys available so we took one of the big deep ones and only had about ten items, I ended up with a cricked back bending down into it. I won the Euro Millions last night. Not the jackpot you understand but got two stars and two numbers so with my £13 winnings (I couldn't spend £45M anyway), I bought some tickets for the roll over tonight - the £7M jackpot for the lotto would just about do it.

Then this afternoon after a visit from work colleague Ged who wanted some interview technique advice, my other half and I worked as a team to clear the garden of leaves and we collected a 'green' council bin full and two huge ton sized bags full as well. We took it all to the tip where we have to climb stairs to dump the stuff in a huge dumpster (ridiculous) and some dork parked his trailer right across the bottom of the stairs like no-one else mattered.

The lawn looks tidy if not a little bedraggled. The begonia tubers were parted from their tired stems and flowers and put in the greenhouse to dry and the dahlia tubers were lifted and also put in the greenhouse to dry out before I wrap them up for the winter. Bird feeders were filled up, tea cooked (wok chicken and roasted vegetables) and while my wife watches Strictly Come Dancing, to which she is sadly addicted, I am about to do some Adobe Photoshop lessons to learn to manipulate photographs to a better standard than I currently achieve.

I came across some toasts today in a book and I thought I'd share some with you. Thanks to Geoff Tibballs.

Toasts To Friends

To the lamp of true friendship. May it burn brightest in our darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial.

To a friend who remembers all the details of our childhood but is discreet enough not to mention them.

Toasts To Health

I drink to you health when I'm with you,
I drink to your health when alone;
I drink to your health so often
I've just about wrecked my own.

May you die in bed aged 97, shot by the jealous husband of a teenage wife.

Toast To Love

Here's to the prettiest; here's to the wittiest,
Here's to the truest of all who are true.
Here's to the neatest one, here's to the sweetest one,
Here's to them all wrapped in one - here's to you. (Awwww)

Toast To Men (by women)

Here's to men - who divide our time, double our cares and triple our troubles.

Toasts To Women (by men)

Here's to the ladies - first in our hearts and first in our wallets.

To our sweethearts and wives. May they never meet.

Have a great weekend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Ne'er cast a clout 'till May is out...

What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming!

Spring seems to be here and the birds are singing again. Although there is a warning of colder weather returning soon, going to work and going home in daylight makes all the difference. I noticed a neighbour’s garden has drifts of snowdrops in flower and with fewer frosts I actually had the window at work open these last two days.

I love the garden and I don’t really touch it at all after picking up the last of the leaves in mid December. Two months absence will be at an end next week when I have a few days off work and tidying up ready for the year ahead starts in earnest. The fish will be looking forward to a few bits of wheat germ based food after a winter of abstinence – something they can digest easily. I won’t clean the pond out just yet; they don’t like being disturbed too much when they are torpid. I’ve had the pond waterfall going all winter and that’s kept the water reasonably filtered and clear for them.

Sitting in the garden at dusk is magical this time of year. The air is generally still, the cloud formations are so attractive; the birdsong is clear and melodious and when it gets chilly, a hot cup of tea and a warm fire beckons.

The grass has survived well and I have some compost from a compost bin with last year’s green kitchen waste and clippings that need to be forked in around the borders. I will be pruning some shrubs and getting ready to sit out on a tidy patio.

This is the only real exercise I get and am thoroughly looking forward to it. I only wish I could afford Garden Force to come in and give me some ideas for a small patio for us to sit on in the middle of the garden.

Ne'er cast a clout 'till May is out... I can't give you a literal translation, but essential it means don't take a chance in taking any layers of clothes off until June arrives, because this country is famous for its last minute chilly spells as we get lulled into a false sense of security.

Chat soon

Ta-ra