Saturday, 13 August 2011

Hugs or Handshake?

I was having an interesting conversation with a good friend the other day and we were talking about hugging and kissing between friends when you first greet them or to say goodbye. I need hugging. I enjoy hugging. Hugging is a very important part of my relationship with friends. A peck on the cheek normally to accompany the hug is quite usual. 

Even at work, if I meet someone of the opposite gender whom I know very well indeed and I haven't seen them for a long time, I greet them with a kiss on the cheek. Men - I shake hands - no discrimination. This is accepted practice - no-one cares or wonders; that's what (some) friends do.

I'm not sure what it is about a hug without over analysing, but I guess it's a sense of sealing and recognising a friendship at a step up from being an acquaintance. I hug and kiss my mother and my mother-in-law when we meet as well as assorted aunties and cousins. That's what we do as a family - always have done. 
Now this wasn't part of the conversation at all, but by sheer co-incidence did you read the article about kissing in the workplace in Germany? The  Knigge Society wants workplace kissing to be banned. Of course we must understand that culture is different in every country and it may be that kissing is not the done thing in some sections of the community in Germany. They say it's an import practice from other countries. 

In some countries they don't like shaking hands for instance. However the weird thing is that the Knigge Society (named after a manual of good manners) spoke to the BBC and admitted that they couldn't ban it from the work place but people who don't mind being kissed should "...announce it with a little paper message placed on their desk." Right. They say it's just an excuse for men to get close to women.

What do you do to greet an old friend?

For the first time in three weeks, I've managed to get into the garden and cut the grass this afternoon, the rain has been fairly persistent in the form of heavy summer showers and longer spells of unseasonable wet weather. Some of the grass hasn't grown at all, other sections of grass were quite long. What is truly amazing is the number of berries that are already out; in my garden alone there are red berries on the cotoneaster, hypericum, early and late honeysuckle, pyracantha (two varieties), rose hips, mountain ash berries, yew and holly.

The day today is cloudy but quite hot and humid so the insects are having a feast on the flowers and the amazing number of different varieties of flying things is stunning.

There haven't been many butterflies for us this year since the hot spring, but today a magnificent and large Red Admiral has been fluttering around the garden. I just couldn't get a picture of it before it fluttered to the next bush.

I was sorry to read today of the death of Robert Robinson, former BBC Broadcaster. His CV included Ask the Family, Stop the Week, Brain of Britain and Call My Bluff. He also had a stint presenting BBC Radio 4's Today programme. Although he was 83 when he died, he was working until last year. When I was younger and there was only three channels on the television, for me, he was the man firmly in charge of quiz programmes.

Tonight, I'm hoping for clear skies to watch the Perseids meteor showers. Although the full moon was peeking mysteriously through the scudding clouds last night, the cloud was too thick and I didn't see anything. We can see the meteors right through until the 22nd August although the peak was last night.

Chat soon


  1. I love a hug - but not at work. Not sure why that makes a difference, but it does. (of course, we're all women! :) )

  2. I'm from the south and we hug here in NC. Before I retired I worked in a military office, so hugs and kisses didn't quite fit in the environment. When an old co-worker happened to come in my office to visit or when someone was leaving, they usually got a hug from me. Of course a hug also depended on how well I like that person too!


  3. I come from a huggy family, except when we've ticked each other off, then we show other"signs" of affection. The first and last thing I do with hubbie is a kiss and I always hug old friends unless that stodgy wife of his is there then I hug her extra hard just to make her uncomfortable.

  4. I'm still not sure why my family was so different. We never hugged! Not even mother and child or father and child. And I never saw any sign of affection between my father and mother. It did leave me with some 'complexes' to clear up as a young person. I thought that it was because we were British, and my parents were from the south. That's why I loved 'northerners' so much. No inhibitions in Yorkshire that I knew of any way. Hugging's good.

  5. I always greet people with a hug. They usually hug back although there is the odd one who obviously feels uncomfortable about it.

    There was no clear sky up here last night to see the meteors - whenever meteors are due we have clouds - seems to be sod's law.

    Had forgotten about Robert Robinson until I saw his face on the screen and then I couldn't remember his name. Sadly TV fame is ephemeral isn't it.

  6. Hi MorningAJ
    I can understand the work place bit, I only hug my oldest friends...

    Hi Gale
    Thanks for dropping by. I can guess how the military might be a little reserved, but we all need a hug now and then, no matter how tough we want to be.

    Hi Donna
    I love your strategy with 'stodgy,' ha ha!

    Hi ChrisJ
    I guess there are many, many families who were brought up like that. A shame, but that was how it was. Glad you like a hug!

    Hi Weaver
    Clear sky in East Yorkshire tonight (Sunday) so will be out with the camera and tripod tonight. Yes TV fame is like that isn't it.

  7. Some lovely photos. I feel awkward hugging people, I'm not a very touchy feely person I guess.

  8. Hi Val
    Completely respect that - at the end of the day you can only do what you find comfortable.

  9. Like Chris, I never knew it when I was growing up and can't ever remember a hug or a kiss from my family, but I'm very definately a hugger now! x

  10. Angels,

    try this website, hand made dolls are one of her specialties and far better quality and detail than I could ever hope to make!

    Josie x

  11. Hi Elizabeth
    I think as we grow up, our current generation recognise the value of a hug!

    Hi Josie
    I am very grateful to you for the link, that's very generous, (and don't do yourself down - you're very creative!)

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