Friday, 6 March 2009

Ten things to do on a Weekend

It's the weekend and with only two days, what can you get up to to make it a satisfying use of your own time - I've made some suggestions below. I looked for some suggestions on the net and the results were not promising. One site suggested in it's top ten: Visit a planetarium; Take a Barista Coffee course; Take a defensive driving course; Test drive your dream car; Visit a day spa; Visit a theatre or opera; Take a coach tour; Book a last minute hotel room; Have a posh picnic; Visit an old friend.

Wow. There's an emerging theme there: you have to have oodles of spare cash or live in a larger city and have servants at home to do all your work. So I thought of the top ten things I might think about doing myself (wife in bed because of her shift work):

Visit The Deep in Hull - cheap and you don't have to use your brain and jostle with the occasional little bad tempered brat - cost - negligible;
Visit a book shop - browse at leisure in a quiet atmosphere and watch men sneaking peaks at erotic novels pretending to have a serious literary interest - don't have to buy anything;
Have a nice coffee in a book shop cafe - couple of quid for a coffee and earwig the nearby conversations to see how the other half live;
Put the clothes in the washer - don't mixed coloureds and whites on a hot wash - cost - already bought the tablets which have turned into powder and spill on the floor the minute you tear the strip seal;
Tumble the clothes you earlier put in the washer - no immediate cost just a huge electricity bill at the quarter end - don't forget to clean the fluff filter and place it in the carrier bag which already has three months worth of pubic hair and fluff;
Clean son's bedroom - Don personal protective equipment, recover 6 side plates, fourteen corners of mouldy bread crust from sandwiches, eight glasses of pink coloured liquid with floating furry mouldy things and 37 assorted single socks from around the room, all different - cost? Five years off your life through worry in fear of what you'll find;
Wash the car - Good exercise and plenty of fresh air on a spring like day - find dents in door where some uncaring bastard has opened their door onto your pride and joy - cost? Previous good temper;
Buy a lottery ticket - learn from last time: attempted to buy a lottery ticket only to find I'd forgotten my wallet and only had 93p in change;
Read the paper - 50p to read depressing investigative journalism, find out what who is doing to who in soap operas, take a sneaky peek at the agony aunt's page for a bit of spice and complete all the crossword clues except one - there's always one;
Cup of tea - the Yorkshireman's best drink of the day - relax and enjoy!

Chat soon


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