Saturday, 22 January 2011

I've Had an Idea, Dear...

My cat bought a bird in the house today, sadly already dead although not a mark on it - I guess shock got the better of it. Not only is this very upsetting for me but ironically, the bird he bought in was a hedge sparrow, a bird we have not had in this area for all the fifteen years I have been in this house.

We put bells on their collars and bird food is put on high bird tables that the cats can't actually get onto. I'm not sure what other practical ideas I can come up with.

We went shopping today for a couple of halogen light bulbs for the security lights. We arrived back home having: chosen a potential new carpet for the living room, decided on a complete living room makeover, thought about new light fittings, chosen a couple of bookcases we might like to replace the rickety ones we have now, bought some bathroom fittings to get stuff off the bathroom window sill and six cans of windscreen de-icer.

How the hell do we manage to do these things? I know the answer. Simple minded married men like me are manipulated by very clever women who put their ideas into our heads. They then encourage us to come up with ideas and solutions which match their plans as if they were our ideas - and hey presto! Job done. If you could bottle this stuff, it would be worth a bloody fortune!

We've both had a bit of a tidying rush to our heads around the house and I've even tidied (most) of my computer room which is a rare potential twice a year event. I was wanting a desk top book shelf but I can't find a decent wooden one for less that £45, so I've opted for less attractive very practical office-style bookends. This will allow me instant access to my spiritual material which I keep in a box under my desk. I'm now on the lookout for some ornamental and heavy bookends.

Well this weekend I thought I'd do a sort of a list which isn't exactly a list but it's near enough to a list and it's on one of my favourite subjects, the difference between men and women.
  • God made man before woman so man could have time to think about the answer to woman's first question.
  • Woman are crazy and men are stupid. Women are crazy because men are stupid.
  • Women always want the last word in an argument (mine certainly does!) Anything a man adds after that is a new argument.
  • A woman will dress up for going shopping, putting the bin out, answering the phone, doing the gardening, reading a book and having her feet done. A man dresses up for weddings and funerals.
  • Men can 'do' their fingernails with a pen knife; keep the same hairstyle for years; have shoes that don't deform their feet; only have to shave their chin; and choose whether or not to grow a moustache!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Chat soon



  1. Thank you so much for your gracious response to my Wednesday's Word... I always post these in fear and trepidation. I don't want to get into a large religious or political debate on blogger. But nor do I want to be lumped together with those weirdo fundamentalist evangelicals! Mainly I just want to post another point of view and at least make the reader think --agree or disagree.
    I enjoy your blog and visit regularly. I enjoy your sense of humor too. The Differences between Men and Women piece is a riot -- often too true. At our age, I've come to the point to where I accept that most of it is the difference between him and me. He does his things his way and I do my things my way and the rest is compromise -- at least that's the way it's supposed to be! Give a nod to the bright and breezy Yorkshire landscape for me as spring creeps slowly in. I miss it!

  2. Hi ChrisJ
    Thanks for your kind return comments... I am so educationally ignorant about religion and only have a layman's view I guess, but that doesn't mean to say that I don't love to read intelligent and interesting articles the like of which you write regularly. Keep writing them like you do and make us think.
    Yorkshire is indeed damp, overcast and chill this weekend and I will pass your sunny regards to it's awesome winter landscape. Although my winter flowering pansies are just coming into flower having been battered by the snow, Spring seems a long way away.

  3. Sadly, although I would rather it were not so, I have to agree with all the items on your list!

    Re hedge sparrows - we have plenty of them round here and they would much rather scratch about in the hedge bottom than feed on the table. Did you know that they are not in the sparrow family at all but in a class on their own?

  4. Hi Weaver
    I had absolutely no idea they were in a family on their own. We do the RSPB bird spotting thing every spring and my ambition is to put a sparrow on the list, sadly, I never have so far. My parents, who live in a village some five miles away have lots of sparrows and they are very entertaining, especially when they're young.