Standing calmly at the crossroads...

It's Thursday already... where does time go?

We went to Nottingham on Wednesday for my son's graduation day at the University of Nottingham. This was a slick operation (they've done it for years - it should be) with loads of signs, space, attendants, refreshments, facilities, photographs, video, streaming Internet of the ceremony etc etc, they really looked after us and made it a very special day for the graduates. I think the Abba song goes something like, "Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run..."

This is a crossroads both him and I have reached. His is fundamental: the end of his formal education, for the time being anyway and the need to move into the bigger world in difficult economic times and mine, another crossroads. Mine is slightly different but still, never-the-less, important for me.

He will be looking for employment commensurate with his degree, archaeology, history and research type jobs. This isn't easy because when we got home the local BBC Look North news programme were interviewing students from University of Hull who had just graduated and they were fairly pessimistic about their job prospects which sort of put a dampener on the day really.

My crossroads is more about lifestyle, loss of a lot of weight, feeling fitter, increase in my psychic work, improving habits, getting my life back in physical order; where do I go from here? Nowhere different, except the same journey, same highways and byways with hazards along the way in a determined effort to make the trip through life with my other half and our family, to arrive at our destination safely, satisfied and happy... "No desire to run/there's no hurry anymore when all is said and done."

As I type this drivel on this Thursday evening, the air is muggy, the sky blackens and the rain is coming down in dribs and drabs, the calm before the storm foretold by the Met Office - more heavy rain with threats of localised flooding. Those of you hit by the floods of June 2007 will understand it when I say that there are thousands of people round me who will be looking nervously at the sky and praying to their God to keep them safe from flooding - again!

'Sapientia Urbs Conditur' on the coat of arms of the University of Nottingham: 'A City is Built on Wisdom.'

It's been a long day and getting weighed tomorrow... then it's the weekend - 'Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay'

Chat soon

Ta-ra!

What a weekend, glad to be back at work...

What a weekend of high emotions and exhaustion. Saturday night went well, fantastic in fact and all that anxiety and worry was unfounded. We had a family reunion for one branch of the family called 'Mayes', my father's mother's family and we had them from all over the Hull and Haltemprice area to a small club. I did some family pictures and blew them up to A4 size with the help of one or two others who supplies some old photos dug out of tins and dusty lofts no doubt (some of the pictures were as old as the hills) and put them up on a wall at the club to greet everyone. These provided an excellent talking point and broke a lot of ice.

I also put up the main pictures of the third generation away from whence we all came who have now, except all but one wife, passed. Underneath each picture I put a basic family tree from what little knowledge I had and some of the gaps were filled in by the relevant families. It's amazing how much women know about the family and relationships - the men knew bugger all. The cake was fabulous (thanks Doreen) and buffet perfectly acceptable. I met people I remembered from childhood, from more years ago than I care to think about and met many I had never met or simply didn't remember. A lot of gaps were filled and if there is a lesson to all this - don't let time be a thief, don't run out of time to contact relatives; you don't have to live in their pockets or talk to them every month, but a phone call, e-mail or letter now and then wouldn't go amiss.

The second of the major events this weekend was a football tournament today (Sunday) run by the junior league from which I have retired today after ten years faithful service as an active committee member. 5000 kids plus belong to this league playing every Sunday during the season and it has been a privilege to serve them. I am moving on to other things and I will miss the league and in particular, some very good friends on the committee who I am very fond of and who have grafted to provide soccer for all those kids along with all the benefits that provides to the larger community.

I was there at seven a.m. and left at 5.30 pm and thank God for good weather and an excellent atmosphere and a successful footballing day. I have an unintended tan, a sore back and aching feet. I will however regain my family life on a weekend which has been sadly neglected.

The third and unexpected emotional episode was sitting down, tired but happy after I arrived home tonight to watch on DVD, Gran Torino with the extraordinary Clint Eastwood in an incredibly watchable film, not his best but near as dammit, as the ex Korean war army veteran living in a neighbourhood devoid of 'native' Americans. This is thoroughly recommended as one of the great films, funny, tense, emotional roller coaster of relationship building and in some cases, destroying. There is some bad language and racism is a strong theme, but brilliantly acted and directed by the master himself, this is a must see.

I cried.

Well that's it for tonight folks, too tired to do anything else but get my shoes clean for work tomorrow and bid you have a great, successful and safe week ahead.

My good friend Middle Aged Gapper has done an excellent blog from Italy from where he has spent the first couple of weeks of his new life, check it out - very entertaining.

Chat soon

Ta-ra!

Trim all round sir?

Domesticity rules today, no walk round Hull as planned and therefore no money spent (other than on tonight's Euro Millions and at a local shop too).

Instead, I cut the hedge (with the assistance of she who must be obeyed), trimmed a tree, cut the grass, had a nice welcoming hot bath and this evening bought my son a computer as a reward for getting his degree.

The hedge was trimmed nice and neatly, not perfect because its full of holes, not level due to it growing at different rates because of the trees, but it turned out very acceptable and will be okay for the next two months or so. As a bonus, although it's not a very good picture (top), there was a bullfinch on the seed dispenser in the back garden which I managed to get before it flew off. I had to do something very old fashioned which was to manually focus on the bird because all the foliage was confusing the auto focus. What you can't see behind the foliage was it's female partner, who has a grey belly. They come once a day, as if passing through from who knows where to somewhere much more exciting.

Have a great weekend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

The Ties are Multiplying

Having lost some substantial weight, we spent a pleasant day spending money buying my clothes - how much - don't ask. The McArthurGlen outlet at York was the scene of the crime, they are now a lot better off than I am, so much for planning and doing an innocent and FREE walk round York city walls.

The problem is that we had to go through my wardrobe and get rid of everything that looks like a tent when we got home tonight. This has taken two of us, two hours solid. During the trying on of all my shirts, I lost some old favourites through age, wear as well as being just too big. About half of my ties have gone - goodbye dear friends! Some of those ties were classics: Paisley, some an inch wide, some 80s gaudy bright checked colours, some with soup stains, gravy stains and unmentionable stains - they have gone to the great tie museum in the sky (or perhaps Oxfam and the Epilepsy shops). I have still managed to sneak a couple of ancient ties into the rack without her who must be obeyed spotting them (she doesn't read this, so don't say anything - please!)

We have taken the opportunity to get rid of so much tonight, mostly stuff that was too big, stuff I've had for donkey's years, stuff I've ruined with paint or grass stains or simply just worn out - like me after today.

When I thought my other half had found all the ties, another one popped up, hidden under a shirt or a suit or other coat hanger which forced her to admit that they must be multiplying.

I've landed about seven pairs of new trousers, mostly for work, four pairs of new shoes and by the way, I am not an Imelda Marcos (full name Imelda Remedios Visitacion Romualdez-Marcos), I only have about five pairs of shoes for all occasions and weathers. I've even picked up a new leisure suit (as opposed to a suit for work), the first I've ever had in my life and its pale beige... wow! This is to be worn at the family get together on Saturday night. I know how to push the boat out.

My wife did buy a pair of shoes for herself, so she wasn't totally left out.

The curse of the socks has been placed upon us yet again. Whilst clearing out tonight, I found six pairs of new, never worn white sports socks in the bottom of one of my drawers and when I pulled them out, there was one missing! It hasn't even been washed, so the sock fairy has struck again. There must be a bloody lot of one legged fairies, goblins, leprechauns and elves around. Perhaps they've had their other legs bitten off by foxes.

My story today has a topical theme. A man was shopping one day and he approached a very pretty young woman. "I've lost my wife, can I talk to you?"
"Why?" She replied, puzzled.
"Because every time I talk to a young woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Holiday - what holiday?

This is the calm before the storm. Today is a day off from the holiday (lounging and pottering). Today is a preparation day. In order of occurrence: a trip to York for a walk around the city wall (research today) on Thursday, a walk around Hull on Friday, family reunion for my father's mother's family on Saturday (getting some display photos ready today), most of whom I have never seen or met before and Sunday an all day local Boys League football tournament; and this is a holiday!

Breaking news: Scientists have discovered something that will do the work of five men - a woman.

Ah well I can be stressed at leisure in my own time. Most of it I am looking forward to and in between times, I will be listening or watching, if I can get near to the TV, to the first Ashes test between England and Australia played for the first time at Cardiff and England are doing okay, not brilliantly, but okay.

I'm just about to do some light reading this afternoon, David Well's book on improving psychic ability and I will be listening to his CD with a guided meditation later this afternoon. It helps me relax if nothing else during the day, I will probably have to wait until evening time to link into my psychic mind with the meditation.

I thought I would put a photograph of the Mayes family - above - (my father's mother's family). Two generations ago have all passed now, all eight of them, five girls and three boys and their spouses all barring one wife. The picture is my grandmother taken by a professional photographer around 1930.

Q Why are families like a box of chocolates?

A Mostly sweet with a few nuts.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Black as the Hobs of Hell... and a Quiz

Dodging the showers, thunder and lightening today from skies that have been as 'black as the hobs of hell' I trotted off to the dentists thinking I had lost a filling last week only for him to tell my that all my amalgam is in perfect condition with just one minor crack in the enamel of one tooth which doesn't need anything doing to it. I must have chewed some mud or dirt from the lettuce I was eating to think I had lost a filling. Ah well, saved me a few bob. Not that I'm stingy or anything, but they do say Yorkshiremen are like Scotsmen but with the generosity taken away - with the money anyway.

'Black as the hobs of hell,' is an interesting phrase and as I am interested in where words and phrases come from, I thought I'd look this one up and there are surprisingly few answers, two in fact that have any credibility.

The first is supposed to be derived from Hobgoblins who inhabit holes in Yorkshire and they are in fact black in colour. Apparently there are several 'Hobs Hole' in Yorkshire.

The second, and probably more likely is a a swinging metal plate in a fireplace that swung over the fire when you wanted to cook something on it or place a kettle on it. Clearly this would get sooty and dirty and housewives would spend hours black-leading them and cleaning them. The 'hob' which we have today, a thing to cook on is still used. As punishment for bad housewives, they would be required to polish the black hobs of hell.

Today's Quiz Questions

Here are some testing questions for you and the answers are below - no cheating now - see if you can answer them correctly. Don't take your time, answer them instantly, no pondering:

Question 1
You are participating in a race and you overtake the second person, what position are you in?

Question 2
If you overtake the last person in the race, you are...

Question 3
Bit of simple arithmetic, don't use a pencil and paper, just do it in your head, it's easy:

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 to it. Add another 1000. Now add 20 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. How much have you got?

Question 4
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Bonus Question
A woman who cannot speak goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing her teeth she successfully expresses herself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

Well done, that was easy wasn't it? Hmmm.

Well here we go with the answers:

Question 1
If you answered that you are first, then you are sadly wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Question 2
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

Question 3
Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe.

Question 4
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary.

Bonus Question
He just has to open his mouth and ask...

Finally... Today's quotation is a question with an answer.

If your dog is barking furiously at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog. At least he'll shut up after you let it in.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Change is as good as a rest...

I hope you are all having a good weekend so far and that the rain hasn't spoilt your endeavours. Well I've done two unique things today, firstly I shaved my beard off and secondly I've walked to the local farmer's market.

What's unique about the beard, well I've only had one beard in my life but I've probably had it fifteen years, it's part of me, formulated my character (or lack of it) and its removed the facade. With my weight loss, my face isn't 'chubby' any more and I thought it was time for a change. My wife was reluctant for me to get rid of it, but as I am now on a holiday for a week, if I don't like it I've got time to grow it back. It feels good not to have one I must confess.

The local farmers market is just a mile down the road in the car park of the Humber Bridge and it's held on the first Sunday of the month. It was packed and there was a lovely atmosphere. It's been there a year or so but I've never been, never had need to really but I thought that I would take advantage of my need to exercise more and I walked there despite the threat of rain from a leaden sky.

There were meats of every kind including ostrich, cheeses, bread and cakes of every shape, colour and taste. There were sweets, exotic teas, spices and huge home grown vegetables. You could but herbs, plants, garden accessories and even jewelry and it all looked reasonably priced. I suppose we should use them, the produce is fresh and it supports the local economy. But being there once a month doesn't meet the need of supply and still means we have to travel to the local supermarket to do the rest of the shopping for the month.

How to impress a woman: compliment her; cuddle her; kiss her; caress her; love her; tease her; comfort her; protect her; hug her; hold her; spend money on her; wine and dine her; listen to her; care for her; stand by her; support her; go the the ends of the earth for her.

How to impress a man: Turn up naked with beer.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Tale of the Unexpected (3)

My days hike in the warm balmy weather yesterday was coming to an end and I was looking forward to my stop over at Hangerley Hall described as an isolated Victorian edifice in the quiet Yorkshire countryside, a perfect watering hole after a pleasant 20 mile walk along open paths, beautiful rolling countryside and nothing but the sound of the breeze and the comforting trill of Skylarks overhead.

There was no reception as such at the Hall, this was a place of retreat and I was greeted by a young woman, dressed rather soberly for her age who was both polite and helpful. I was shown my comfortable room in a corridor at the top of a huge old fashioned staircase and I enjoyed a hot refreshing shower.

The evening meal was vegetarian and I enjoyed the simplicity and taste. The lounge was huge and expansive and guessed it had been the living room of the great house when it had been occupied by the original family, probably before the war. Clearly, it was so big, it could have doubled for a ball room. I was alone that night in the Hall as the only paying guest, it's not too popular during the weekends I was told. The log fire behind the spark guard radiated just enough heat to keep it comfortable, and even though it had been a warm day, the large house and the high ceilinged lounge was cool. I made myself comfortable in the armchair near the fire and admired the panelling on the walls.
I must have fallen asleep with my brandy in my hand because I woke with a start in the semi darkness and for a moment wondered where I was. I had spilt my drink on my trousers and I felt a fool and a little annoyed that I had wasted perfectly good Napoleon three star brandy.

I looked at my watch with some difficulty because of the dim light and noted it was two forty-five. A few embers were left in the grate struggling to keep going. I put another log on and turned to go back to my chair and jumped a foot in the air as I was face to face with an elderly lady who I had not heard approach. My heart was pounding in my ears and I apologised for the expletive I had let slip.

She waved this apology away with a smile and a flick of her gloved hand and she sat in the hard backed wooden chair on the other side of the fire. I was still getting over the shock when we began the most interesting conversation. The lady was highly intelligent, very articulate and spoke with captivating interest about her life and to my surprise she had once lived at the Hall as a young woman, through her marriage and into her dotage. She confirmed that indeed there had been grand balls in the room before the war when life was easier and servants patrolled the corridors and rooms taking care of the needs of the family and guests. I thought I actually heard music as she described women in flowing bright gowns gliding down the stairs with their men in evening dress. 'Gay times' as she called them before the outbreak of war and when the Hall was taken over by the army as so many were in those dark days, the Hall lost its pride, its character and its soul.
This was the only time she looked sad as she described the Hall being ripped apart; art, furniture and belongings turned out into an old leaky cottage down the drive and I thought I saw a tear trickle down her cheek. She dabbed her face with a lace handkerchief and she offered me it to wipe my trousers of the brandy stain and although I initially refused, she insisted and I took it from her and gently rubbed my trousers over the stain. As I looked up and was about to offer her her handkerchief back, she had gone. I looked around the large room and even walked up the stairs looking for her and of this delightful old lady, I could find no trace.

I was determined to meet her in the morning at breakfast and return the handkerchief, a small square of thin white cotton delicately embroidered with roses, lavender flowers, vines and the initials ARH.

I slept well albeit for only four hours having had the night charmingly stolen away from me.

After a semi vegetarian breakfast (no bacon) but soya sausages and eggs with home grown tomatoes, beans and mushrooms from the surrounding fields, I asked the young lady who had greeted me the night before about the old lady. She looked at me with sad eyes which I thought familiar, and after a moments hesitation and rather unconvincingly she reiterated what she had told me the night before that there was no one else staying in the Hall. I told her this must have been some kind of mistake, the doors to the Hall had been locked and I had had a two hour conversation with the old lady.

I remembered the handkerchief and produced it with a flourish to prove the old lady's existence and I explained I wanted to return it with my gratitude. The young woman took the handkerchief with trembling hands and examined it. "ARH - This belonged to Alice Roberta Hangerley. She gave you this?" I said that she had and I described her. "My grandmother," explained the young woman. I asked if I could give her grandmother the delicate lace handkerchief back.

"I wouldn't think so, she's been dead since 1939. This used to be kept in an old trunk I keep in the loft of my cottage down the road, but it went missing a few years ago and I thought I had lost it. I once treasured it with all my heart." Her eyes were filling up. "And now she's returned it. Thank you so much." She placed her hand gently over mine for an instant and then she turned and went back into the kitchen and closed the door behind her. I could hear her crying.

I left the hall not an hour later somewhat confused still not clear about what had happened last night. I passed a tree a few yards down the drive from the Hall which I have sinced learned has not sprouted a single leaf since Alice Roberta Hangerley died all those years ago.And yet even now writing this I feel a warm indescribable glow that, by sheer accident through events outside my control, this strange episode had brought some comfort to a troubled soul with the assistance of... well, who knows.

Chat soon

Ta-ra.

Story and photographs the intellectual property of Rarelesserspotted

E addio il mio amico

Middle Aged Gapper left work for the last time today, handed in his keys and mosied off into the sunset leaving behind him a trail of good feelings, well being and affection. Thanks for a great lunch. Enjoy Italy. Blog often. Good for him of course but sad for his colleagues who have lost a valued person.

They've just bought out new fun flavoured condoms for the over 60s. The latest flavour - Werther's Original.
Malcolm LordI was very lucky to have attended a sportsman's dinner last night in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Hull Boys Sunday Football League and to have listened to an after dinner speech by the 1966 England World Cup Final winner, the Manchester United legend, Norbert 'Nobby' Peter Stiles MBE - a great night full of laughs and entertainment from a great wrinkly.

I have been very lucky today to visit my good friend Barry at his place of work this afternoon and as he took me on a tour, I realised how lucky he was having a job in the open air with beautiful vistas of the countryside and the Humber basin accompanied by the wildlife and what we spotted today in just one hour while he worked was exceptional - flitting and darting among the stubble of newly mown grasses and wild flowers and trees and bushes: birds of every size, butterflies, bees, insects and although we didn't spot any today, deer sometimes stalk him on his days toil. All the time, Skylarks, unseen singing to their hearts content above us. Of course there is a down side in that during bad weather, he can't hide away, his site still needs to be managed, nurtured and made to work and he has to walk when his 4 x 4 can't cope with the wet and steep slopes. He gets wet, tired and dirty when the weather is unkind.

So we take the good with the bad; the happy with the sad; positives and negatives; two sides to every coin.

It's like us human beings, light and dark moods, helpful or destructive (whether we mean it or not). Is that Yin and Yang? The way it's been explained to me is that there are opposites. If you drop a pebble in the water, it cause ripples and there are both peaks and troughs of water making up the ripple when you think about it. But the opposites are also rooted together, with only men or only women for example, life would only exist in one generation and that would be it.

There are also transformations. A seed grows into a plant, grows, flowers, withers and dies and decays and provides nutrients for the next seed. Yin and Yang also provide balance - without one there is not the other. You can't have light without dark. There we are. If you have good there will be times things may not be so good, but if you know things can be okay at other times, then look forward to the positives - sideline the negatives out of your head. Savour the good.

Dave Allen, the exceptional and sadly missed Irish born comedian once commented, "We spend our lives on the run. We get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again and go to work and watch the clock all day. Then when we retire, what do they do? Give us a bloody clock."

Have a great weekend.

Chat soon

Ta-ra

Touch wood...

Did you say 'white rabbit' three times this morning before you uttered your first words on this first day of the month? I was in bed late on Tuesday night so at five minutes past midnight I cheated and said it then just before I nodded off.

I got into a (friendly) argument with a friend Linda who I take to the psychic circle on Tuesday. We had entered Shirley Ann's house where the circle is held by the back door. We enjoyed a productive and successful night with some quality messages for each other from the 'other side' and it was time to leave. My friend wanted to leave by the FRONT door, much to my dismay but she argued that as we had sat down after entering the house, it didn't matter, it wouldn't be bad luck to leave through a different door from one that we had originally entered.

I bowed to her confidence that we had negated the superstition by sitting and I left, not without a little trepidation (and after touching wood) and to make it worse the fog had come in from the North Sea with a vengeance on the drive home. All was well however and I am now happy that the three 'white rabbits' have rescued me.

My work colleague and friend Middle Aged Gapper is on his last working day on Friday before he retires and starts his new life of adventure and discovery. I am hopeful that when he can find time, he will update his blog with his adventures and his rather small companion Wainwright who you should really meet because this little guy will become famous, mark my words.

There aren't many rabbit stories (other than them being prolific breeders) so I thought I would relate a story about a rabbit in tribute to my lucky three 'white rabbits.'

A man found his dog in his back garden with a dead rabbit in his mouth. The dreadful realisation came to him that this was the neighbours daughter's pet rabbit. In a panic, he washed the rabbit and in the dead of night he slipped it back into the cage in his neighbour's garden hoping perhaps that his neighbour would think it had died of natural causes. The next day, the man spotted his neighbour digging in the garden. He looked over the fence and said, "Hello Bill, what you up to?"

"I'm burying my rabbit," replied the neighbour. "There are some sick people about. It died on Monday, I buried it on Tuesday and yesterday, some bastard dug it up, washed it and stuck it back in its cage."

Whoops!

Chat soon

Ta-ra.