Blimey it's cold today. I left work half an hour early today and it was not as much of a treat as you would imagine because it was for a trip to... wait for it... the dentist.
For my two hundredth blog, I am writing about my trip to the dentist. To be fair, my dentist is excellent: friendly, considerate, doesn't laugh too much while he's drilling and he's not expensive. The nursing staff are superb and have suction skills to turn your head. I'm fascinated to know what this coded language means, dentist to nurse: "One, two three present, five, six, seven... eight missing." OMG what's missing? He doesn't seem concerned.
I didn't need treatment today (wahaaaayyyyyyyy) and after a good poke around, I went to see the hygienist.
Now she is also very professional (lost weight like me - except she's training for a marathon!) and I enjoy getting a bollocking every six months; here's the script...
Her: "Have you been flossing?"
Me with mouth full of whirring metal cleaning implement spurting water and a suction pipe, "hmrmphhhpher."
Her: "Well you need to get that flosser in there because they need doing at the back as well you know."
Three pints of valuable, hard earned blood loss later, being tickled by the polisher behind my front teeth and spitting out that disgusting pink liquid and nearly hitting my head on the ceiling lamp on the way out, I leave refreshed and unable to resist running my tongue round my teeth actually feeling quite good. What's more, I am keen to make my next appointment for further torture and bollocking for six months time. Weird.
Have you noticed, I'm not talking about the weather today? I'm not mentioning the fact that northern Britain and Northern Ireland are going to experience more snow, sleet, hail and freezing rain this week. I said I wouldn't and I'm not. In fact, I'm ignoring it so it's not going to happen.
My psychic circle tutor is not well tonight so it's a night in front of the fire keeping warm, I hope she gets well soon.
Patient: "I have yellow teeth, what shall I do?"
Dentist: "Wear a brown tie."
Chat soon and floss often!